


The Food Network Presents Cooking for the Family

by Azure_K_Mello



Series: The Food Network Presents… [6]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:26:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azure_K_Mello/pseuds/Azure_K_Mello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Jared goes to school with Jamie, we meet Kim Manners and we finally see the barbeque. </p><p>Words: 29,568</p><p>Bunny care of: mediaville found here: http://mediaville.livejournal.com/12649.html</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Food Network Presents Cooking for the Family

Jensen’s students were touchingly supportive. When he arrived they were waiting for him, all of them, no one had boycotted. “Sorry I’m a little late. Let’s hope someday y’all are famous enough to have the media rudely push into your lives and make driving hazardous.” That got a chuckle and Leon raised his hand, “Yeah?”

“Should you be here, Professor Ackles?”

That sort of hurt because he’d always liked Leon. “Well, the university hasn’t fired me yet. And as I’d already handed in my resignation and told them that I wouldn’t be back next year because I’m going back to composing they’ll probably let me close out the semester.” 

“No,” said Leon, “of course they won’t. They know they’ll have a protest of the whole music department. We like you too much for them to get away with that. I just meant, today. Don’t you have better things to do today?” 

Jensen felt himself smile. “Well, I had thirty-four voice messages on my cell this morning but I’ve already called everyone back and assured them to get on with their days. Let’s just have class. As long as you’re all up to it?” 

Everything was fine that day. And Jensen was just pleased that things went smoothly.

It was going pretty well, Jensen was proud that Jared hadn’t freaked out. The only big thing was that the paparazzi wouldn’t get off his lawn. They’d crowded close to his car as he’d pulled in from picking the boys up from school on Friday afternoon. He and Jamie were alone in the car. He’d parked and said, “I’m going to carry you in okay? I don’t want you getting knocked over.”

“I don’t like this, Daddy,” said Jamie. 

“I know, baby. They’ll go away, forget about us once some other celebrity does something big.” 

Jensen opened the door, pushing the photographers away calmly. Opening the back door, Jensen grabbed Jamie’s backpack and picked Jamie up. He saw it almost in slow motion, a TV camera on one side of him, TMZ or something, and a photographer on the other. He saw the photographer lean in, saw the moment he touched Jamie. Then it all sped up and went to hell as Jamie bit the guy, hard. 

The guy screamed and pulled back shouting, “What the fuck?” 

And Jamie screamed back, “You can’t touch me! That’s not allowed. You touched me so I bit you and that’s okay because I’m allowed to not be touched by strangers. And that’s a bad word that you don’t use and you owe my grandma a quarter.”

The guy just stood there and Jensen said, “Couldn’t have worded it any better myself. Get off my lawn. It’s private property. Stay on the sidewalk or I will call the police.” He pushed his way to the front door. 

As he walked he heard someone say, “Like the cops will come for a fag.” 

He shut the door hard behind himself, locking it. “Daddy, what does that word mean?”

“Well, Grandma would charge more than a quarter.” He sat down on the couch with Jamie in his lap and thought for a moment. “Some people think it’s wrong for two men to date, or two women to date. They think that only men and women can date each other. And that is a very mean word for a guy who likes other guys.”

“Are there mean words for girls who like other girls? Like Mommy?”

“Yeah, there’re words for that too.”

“But why?”

“They just don’t like it, don’t think it’s normal.”

“It’s not their business,” said Jamie sounding put out. “I like Jared.” 

“No, it isn’t. It’s not nice of them. But we’re okay, they’re just words. And you took care of yourself and bit that guy so we’re okay.” 

He cuddled closer to Jensen. “I want them to go away.”

“Me too,” Jensen just held Jamie quietly, allowing the boy to calm down. “But y’know what? Jared’s going to go to school with you no matter what they say. We don’t care what they say. None of them matter one iota. So don’t let them bother you.”

“I don’t want to go out for date night tonight.”

“Okay, what do you want to do?” 

“Can we have chicken casserole, and go swimming, and watch Fox and the Hound?” Jensen nodded. “Do you want to go out? Am I a yellow belly?”

“No, baby, no. I understand why you don’t want to go out. Photographers can be overwhelming even when they aren’t being mean. Date night is ours, not other people’s. Your plan sounds fun.” He stayed where he was, just holding Jamie. He pulled out his cell phone and said, “I’m gonna call the restaurant and cancel.” It was only a quick conversation. The woman at the other end didn’t ask for a reason.

As Jensen hung up Jamie said, “Sorry.”

“I like staying in with you just as much as I like going out with you.” 

“Did you used to have this many people following you? When you were really famous?” 

“More sometimes. But I think this will die down, baby.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not young and handsome anymore. Back then I was on covers of Bop, Tiger Beat, and J14 because I was so young and handsome. When I was little there weren’t too many paparazzi, because it was all classical music. But then when I was fifteen and I did a few pop CDs I got a lot of attention. And then I went touring for classical again and they went away. And then in college and after Mommy and I did some pop and that got attention, and then I composed for movies and they went away again. It’s all about how interested people are in you. And as Jared’s famous and I’m famous it’s made people interested again.”

“You’re the most handsome dad at the school.” 

Jensen laughed, “More than Mr. Hawke?” 

“Way more and he’s not in any good movies.” 

Ethan Hawke had never made a kid friendly movie in his life. Jensen laughed again. “Want to cook?”

After that it was a pretty average quiet date night, it wasn’t the first time they’d stayed home for date night. There was a recipe for at home dates: simple dinner, eaten on the couch with a movie, and then swimming past normal bedtime. After Jamie was in bed Jensen made coffee and called Annie. 

“I saw Jamie bite some dude on TV,” she said. 

“He’s having a hard time with this. We had a pretty low-key night. He’s just stressed out by it all. Did you hear what someone said as we walked inside?” 

“Yeah.”

“That started a whole conversation that I didn’t really want to have with my six year old.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“We just have to ride this out. It’ll be okay. How was your day?” 

“Someone called me offering me one thousand bucks for my story as your scorned lover. They think because we hang out so much and I pick up the boys that I’m your bit on the side.”

“What did you say?”

“I shouted, ‘Fuck off,’ and hung up.” 

That made him laugh, “Sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Well, I’m sorry you got pulled into this.”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind. I’m gonna have an early night.” 

He called his parents-in-law, Mack, Josh, and Mom and Dad just to check in to see how they were. And then, after mutual assurance of fineness, he called Jared. Jared picked up on the first ring, “How was date night?” he asked. 

“We didn’t go out, Jamie’s really freaked out by the paparazzi, we just cuddled with a movie and went swimming until bed.” 

“Sounds nice. I’d give you a second date after that.”

Jensen chuckled, “How was your night?”

“Good for the most part went to see my parents. Momma and Daddy said hi, by the way.” Jared sighed. “Only problem was that I couldn’t go for a jog there’s too many of the fuckers around.” 

“Yeah, they crowded the car and one of them touched Jamie.”

“Jesus.”

“Jamie bit him. He deserved it. But after that Jamie just didn’t want to leave the house.”

“Understandable.”

“I’m worried about him, how he’s dealing. I mean, I’m worried about you too, Jared, but you’re an adult.”

“I knew what would happen, maybe not to the true extent, but had an idea. Plus I’m big and strong and he’s little and scared.”

“Exactly.” He heard Jared yawn into the phone and said, “Wanna come over tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, I have to go to JT’s in the morning, deal with some orders. But maybe around ten.”

“Yeah, we won’t be up yet. Jamie and I sleep late Saturday. Let yourself in and come back to bed?”

“Sounds great. I love you.”

“I love you too. Sleep well, Jay.”

“You too, Jen.” 

~~~

It was late or early depending on point of view. Jensen felt the hand on his arm and, like any single parent, he woke up fast. “Jamie?”

“I had a nightmare.”

“Want to sleep with me?”

Jamie pulled back and burst into tears, “I wet my bed.”

Jensen sat up nodding, “That’s okay, it’s all okay. Ya had a nightmare, come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

He brought Jamie into the bathroom, stripped him and cleaned him up, all the while reassuring him that it was all okay, that nightmares did that, that he had nothing to be ashamed of. On the way to Jamie’s room he threw the wet clothes into the washing machine. He redressed Jamie in clean PJs and stripped the bed. It wasn’t so unusual. After Tricia died Jamie had had a hard time, lots of nightmares and wet beds. The bed still had a rubber sheet under the mattress pad. He threw it all into the washing machine and started it going. 

“Let’s have some milk and cookies.”

“I don’t want to wet the bed again.”

“You come sleep with me; I’ll keep the dreams away.” He washed his hands and poured them each a small glass of soy milk getting out lemon snaps. He pulled Jamie onto his lap and they ate, quietly. “Want to tell me?”

“I dreamt that they came inside, the people outside. They came into my room and took pictures.” 

Jensen kissed his forehead and as they finished he said, “Come with me,” He took Jamie’s hand and led him to the front door, “See? It’s all locked,” then he looked out the side widow and pulled Jamie in front of him, “No one’s out there now, baby. They aren’t evil, just annoying. They would never break in here because I’ll beat them up and then they’ll go to jail. Come to bed.” 

Softly Jamie said, “Can we sleep in Mommy’s bed?” 

After Tricia had died he and Jamie had slept in Tricia’s bed off and on for about six months, Jamie had slept better in there, fewer accidents and nightmares. Jensen just nodded now and headed into Tricia’s room. It wasn’t dusty, it also wasn’t a shrine. Most of her clothes had gone to Annie, Mack, and assorted friends so had most of her stuff. There were some things, things he hadn’t been able to give up, her cello, her wedding dress and ring, a worn sweatshirt, her favorite stuffed toys. It wasn’t a monument to her because that would have been creepy; those things were packed away. The most important thing she’d ever had was holding his hand, living, breathing and safe. It was her room but it wasn’t like her bed was left unmade or her underwear was still on the floor. He’d been able to let go a little bit. But when he changed the bed sheets he’d sprayed her perfume on them for the first year… it had taken a while. 

Pulling back the sheets they both fell into bed. Jensen wrapped his arm tightly around Jamie’s waist, the way he liked after a bad dream and they both fell back to sleep after not too long. 

~~~

When Jared got to the house there were a few paparazzi already there on the sidewalk. Jared ignored them. He’d changed back into sweats and a t-shirt after the restaurant. It had been a rough night and he could use a nap. He unlocked the door with his key and then relocked it behind himself and the dogs. There was no one in Jensen’s room. The bottom bunk in Jamie’s room had been stripped. Uh-oh. No one in the kitchen, living room or backyard. Then he heard breathing close by and through an open door he saw them, fast asleep in a girl’s room, everything in it was pale yellow and green. 

The dogs followed him in and he leaned down by Jensen, “Jen?” 

Jensen blinked, “Hey.” Jamie was asleep on his chest.

“What’s up?”

“Nightmare, wet bed, Tricia’s room, get in.”

“You sure? Should I leave?” 

“Yeah, I’m sure. Dogs too.” 

Jared kicked off his shoes and slid into the bed on the other side of Jensen. Jamie stirred slightly, blinked owlishly at Jared, looking so much like his father. “No talking, Jared,” he picked up Jared’s arm and draped it over himself and subsequently Jensen. The dogs settled at the foot of the bed. Jared allowed himself to drift and soon joined the other two in sleep. 

He woke up as Jamie started to move. Jamie sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Hi,” said Jamie.

“Hi.”

“I had a nightmare,” said Jamie. 

“Me too.”

“Did you wet the bed?”

Jared shook his head, “No, but it took me hours to go back to sleep.”

“What did you do about your nightmare?”

“I told the paparazzi in my dream to go away or I would kick them. They left.” It was a bald-faced lie. In actuality he’d needed two cups of coffee and a slice of pie to feel even a little bit better. It had taken cooking Jamie-safe dog kibble to make him sleepy enough to pass out again. In his dream he’s been crowded into a corner by paparazzi who’d pulled off strips of his flesh and swallowed them down without chewing, the meaning was pretty obvious. He’d screamed as they took pictures. He may have screamed aloud too, the dogs had seemed pretty freaked out when he’d woken up. 

Jensen woke up slowly and sniffed, “Cornmeal pancakes,” he said sitting up, “and coffee.”

“You had a nightmare about pancakes and coffee?” asked Jared.

“No, that’s what we need for breakfast.” He got out of bed, budging Sadie as he did so, “Sorry, doll,” he apologized. 

He always spoke to them like people and Jared really appreciated that. In the kitchen, all three of them still in PJs, Jensen and Jamie taught Jared how to make cornmeal pancakes and it was a nice slow morning, just hanging out and finishing the laundry. As they ate Jensen said, “Jamie, do you still want to have a sleepover tonight? It’s okay is you don’t, if you’d rather be in bed with Jared and me.”

“No. I want a sleepover. I’ll be okay tonight.”

“You sure?” 

“Yes, I’ll be okay. I want a sleepover.”

“Okay… let’s make ice pops this afternoon.” 

“I like making ice pops.” 

“I know,” said Jensen with a smile. “Let me call your uncle. Why don’t you go clean your room after breakfast so you and your cousins can have a nice time?” Jamie sighed but nodded. “Want some more pancakes?” 

Jamie smiled, “Two please.” 

Jensen stood and went to the stove, “Jared?” 

“Yeah, two more would be awesome for me too, please.” He stood, “I’ll make another pot of coffee.” 

The dogs had eaten their kibble and were running around in the backyard. “Daddy, after I clean my room can we have a lesson? I want to learn something new and hard but fun.” 

“Sure, baby.” 

Jamie didn’t protest his dad calling him baby in front of Jared which Jared took as a good sign. They ate and Jamie went to clean his room. Jensen remade Jamie’s bed and pulled out a sleeping bag for Mark. Then while Jamie was still cleaning Jensen called Josh from the kitchen. 

He spoke softly and Jared only heard half the conversation. “Hey… yeah, we had a rough night actually… slept in Tricia’s bed… I agree. I just wanted to see if you were still up for a sleep over. There’s a ton of paparazzi here… No, of course I know that. I just wasn’t so sure, with the kids and everything… Okay. Well, remember swimsuits and we’ll see you around three. You can meet Jared.” Jensen laughed at something Josh said. “We’ll see you later.” Hanging up Jensen said, “I think Josh is more excited about meeting you than he is about the first date he’s had in months.” 

“Well I am a really exciting person.” Jared didn’t really think about how it sounded until Jensen laughed. “I just meant that I’m famous.” Jensen laughed again. “That’s not vanity that’s just a fact.” Jensen laughed. “It’s not my fault I’m awesome.” 

“You are the vainest man I’ve ever met.” But Jensen smiled at him and kissed him. 

~~~

The day was so nice. They made the ice pops and Jensen just relaxed as he taught Jamie Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In. It was difficult song because medleys were always hard, you had to think sideways. They played for a long time and for the first time in two years he really enjoyed the lesson. They moved back to Styx and then Jamie said, “I’m done.” Jensen knew all about hitting the wall and that once you were done there was no getting back to what you were doing before. 

“Pool?”

“No, I got a third grade book from the library. I wanna start that.” 

“Sounds good.” He turned to Jared and said, “And what do you want to do?” 

“I want to watch one of your movies.” 

So they went to the living room. Jamie went past them into his room. Jensen pulled movies off the shelf and handed four to Jared. “These are the family friendly ones.” 

Jared read through the backs of the DVD cases and said, “Oh, I like the sound of this one.” Jensen took it from him and saw that it was On the Journey, a period mystery about espionage against the French crown. As Jensen was putting the movie on Jamie came out with the book, dictionary, notebook and pencil. “Why do you have a dictionary?” asked Jared. 

“To look up words. The Bailey School Kids books are hard.”

“Why not ask your daddy?” 

“Jared, I don’t mean to be mean,” Jensen kept his back to the pair he knew that Jamie was about to making him laugh but he was probably going to have to tell him off, “but how did you ever learn anything?” 

Jensen had to bite down the laughter as he said, “Not nice, Jamie, not nice.” 

But Jared just laughed, “That is a valid point. You two don’t even realize how similar you are, do you?” 

Jensen sighed and sat on the couch next to Jared, slinging an arm around him. Jared leaned into him. Jamie took a pillow off the couch and lay down with his stomach on the floor with the pillow under his chest, propping himself up on his elbows with his three books lined up. Sometimes being with Jamie was almost painful. He had Jensen’s nose, ears and freckles. He had his mother’s blue eyes, dark hair and mouth. Jensen had never given much thought to nature or nurture he was who he was and he liked who he was. Self examination wasn’t his thing. But he had no doubt about genetic memory. 

Jamie was too young when she died to remember how his mother read. Jamie could remember important moments, things that were seared into him by the strong emotions of the events, but not something this simple. This wasn’t emulation but it was identical. He would swing his hips, causing his legs to swing back and forth hitting the floor on either side of him, like a slow metronome. He would hold his book open and tap his pencil’s eraser on the margin. He would pause when he got to a good bit without thinking and then return to the unconscious movement once the passage was over. When he started to get bored he would turn onto his back, book in one hand, the other on his stomach with his legs propped up on the couch. Ten minute after that he would be done with reading for the day. 

Tricia’s ghost was in the room, present in their son’s body. Jensen wished, not for the first time not even for the millionth, that she was here with them. She would sit with her back against the arm of the couch, her feet in his lap. The four of them would watch the movie. She would have a bowl of popcorn on her lap because she always needed popcorn with a movie. She would like Jared. She would say, “I’d try to go straight for him,” and they would laugh. It got easier over time, it did, it got easier to not get stuck in every minute. But it didn’t hurt any less, the hole she left didn’t refill itself and he still wanted his wife.

He felt Jared nudge him and saw Jared give him a puzzled look. Jensen smiled and settled into the movie. It was nice, chilling out. Dating Jared was good for him. Jamie gave up reading after about forty minutes and handed Jensen his note book, “I learned four words.” 

They were written in Jamie’s sloppy six year-old hand with definitions next to them. “Awesome. Liking the book?”

“I think the bus driver is a gargoyle. But we’ll never find out.” 

“Cool.” Jamie left his books where they lay and sat down in Jensen’s lap. Jensen used his free hand to pull Jamie close and kissed his hair. 

It was exactly three when the doorbell rang and Jensen heard someone try the door handle. He ran to the door from the kitchen and opened it with a smile to Josh, “Sorry, we’ve been locking the door with those vultures over there,” he said nodding to the curb where the photographers were. “C’mon in.” He stepped away from the door as Josh and the kids walked in. “Hi, everyone. It’s so good to see you.” He shut the door firmly behind them. “The photographers are driving us crazy.” He hugged his niece and nephew and ushered them in. “You can meet Jared. He and Jamie are on the back porch.” Josh put down the bags. 

“Go on, go see your cousin and introduce yourselves to Jared,” said Josh. He gently pushed Marky and Mary towards the back of the house. As the left he said, “How you doin’, little brother?” 

“I’m honestly okay. Jamie is having nightmares, which isn’t good. But I mean, it reminds me of after Tricia died, but I’m not as fucked up this time. I would have slept like a baby if Jamie hadn’t woken me.”

“But you said you slept in Tricia’s bed?” asked Josh gently. 

“Jamie wet his bed and once we were done cleaning up and calming down Jamie wanted to be in her bed. I didn’t need to hunker down in her room; I wasn’t having a breakdown.”

“Good, that’s good. Poor Jamie.”

“Yeah, he’s scared but it comes in waves, you know little kids.” 

“Daddy!” Mary shouted coming back, “Jared has dogs, come see.” She was about to turn five and really wanted a puppy for her birthday. 

“We aren’t getting a dog,” said Josh. It was a lie, he’d already talked to a farm breeder and a border collie puppy was going to be picked up the night before her birthday. 

“Come see the dogs.” 

He nodded and allowed himself to be theatrically dragged to the yard. Out on the patio he smiled and reached to shake Jared’s hand, “Jared, man, good to meet you. I’m Josh, Jensen’s older, nicer brother.” 

“I’m Jared, the guy who likes him despite his lack of amiability.” 

They both laughed and Jensen said, “Good to see you two will get on well. Drinks?” 

“Sure,” said Josh, “the adults will help. Kids, what would you like?” 

The kids put in their order and Jared said, “One word about the dogs,” Jensen read Josh’s face and knew that he was worried Jared was about to say they bit. “Harley has a really bad hip and Sadie gets nervous. So don’t sit on them, okay? Harley will have to go back to the doctor and Sadie will have an accident and go hide somewhere for the night. That’s the only rule: no sitting on the dogs and be a little gentle around Harley’s backside.” 

The kids all nodded and the adults headed back into the kitchen. “Sure they’ll be okay?” asked Josh. “Mary is a little over enthusiastic.”

“They’ll be fine,” said Jensen.

Jared smiled, “I’ve trained them well. Mary could stab them between the eyes and they would limp away and die feeling betrayed but thinking that as a human did they probably deserved it. I’m only worried about his hip and her constitution.”

“Well,” said Josh in a whisper, “we’re getting Mary a puppy for her birthday in a couple of weeks.”

“A good breeder?” asked Jared. 

“It’s a horse farm, so yeah, not a puppy mill, those poor bastards have all sorts of problems.” 

Jared nodded, “That’s good. If you need any help I can give you a hand. Harley used to jump on everything and Sadie used to be too frightened of moving wheels to go outside.”

“Moving wheels?” 

“She was a shelter dog: I have no idea what she went through. Any sort of moving wheel scared her. Harley was a friend of mine’s but he was over whelmed by Harley’s energy. He was not getting the proper amount of exercise.”

“Well, sounds like you can work a miracle so we might need your help.”

Jared nodded and poured the grownups coffee while Jensen set about getting the kids’ drinks. “So where’s Lind?” asked Jensen.

“Taking a bath and having a glass of wine. She’s having a little alone time before we go out. Thank you so much for doing this.”

“No need, you’ve been covering so much for me with all the not dating,” said Jensen. “It’s not a problem at all.”

“I’m glad you are not not dating anymore,” then Josh seemed to consider his words making sure the double negative was correct. 

“Me too,” said Jensen.

~~~

The kids were swimming and Jensen was going over the tests he said he couldn’t put off any longer. Jared was still going through different products that he might want to endorse. The sun was nice and Jensen turned to him and said, “Do you want some tea?”

“Is it sweetened?” asked Jared.

“Of course it is: this is the south. I hate those health nuts who say sugar is bad for you. It’s only bad if you’re fat or a diabetic who doesn’t take care of himself. All things in moderation.”

“Then I would love a glass.” He watched the kids as Jensen went into the kitchen. They were playing keep it up with a beach ball and the dogs were trying to help but not really being useful. Jensen came back and handed him the glass of sweet tea. Jared took a sip and sighed, “There is nothing on a hot day like sweet tea.” He rested his hand on Jensen’s thigh and said, “Thank you for introducing me to your brother and letting me hang out during family time. I love being here.” 

“I love having you here.” Jensen leaned in and kissed him slowly. There was a comical noise of a throat being cleared. Breaking apart Jared saw Mary standing, wrapped in a towel, with her mouth gaping.

“Momma said Jared’s your boyfriend. But, like, I thought like a friend who is a boy. But is he like Aunt Macky’s boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Does Jared live here like Aunt Macky’s boyfriend lives with her?”

“No, but Jared sleeps over a lot.”

She nodded, “Okay. I’m done with the pool. Will you help me with my hair?” 

“Of course, go get me your things.” She ran into the house and Jensen said, “I like kids, they ask some questions, you answer them truthfully and they move on with life. So much easier than adults.” 

They lapsed into silence and she came back outside in a tank top and shorts holding a hairbrush, extra hair elastics, and a bottle that said “No More Tangles”. She stepped between his legs, handed him the brush and spray, and turned her back to him. 

“Pigtails?” asked Jensen.

“Yes, but I want them to go back, not out to the side. I don’t want Pippi Longstocking.” 

“Got it, Princess.” Jensen sprayed her hair liberally before gently tugging the wet elastic out, he sprayed it again, and then started to work the brush through her hair gently. He brushed it out, parted it down the middle, and braided it quickly and cleanly. “There you go; you can thank your Aunt Mack for the fast work: she made me braid her hair all the time when she was little.”

“Thank you, Uncle Jen.” 

“Very welcome, princess.”

She went and sat on the edge of the pool. Mark moved to splash her but Jamie grabbed his cousin’s arm and said, “No, don’t she got dressed.” 

Jensen sighed, “He worries me sometimes.”

“Because he’s nice to girls?”

“It’s just not normal for a boy his age to be that nice to girls. I was never that nice.” Jared laughed and went back to his papers. The boys decided they wanted ice pops and got out of the pool, wrapped themselves in towels and ran towards them, “No running, boys. You might slip.” 

They came at a more sedate pace and Jamie said, “Daddy, can we please have ice pops?”

“Of course, but get plates. We don’t want sugar dripping everywhere.” Jared watched as the kids dripped into the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with plates and ice pops. They sat on the edge of the pool whispering about something. Jensen read but Jared watched them. “Jared, no one’s going to slip in and drown.”

“Aren’t you supposed to watch them?”

“They’re on the edge of the shallow end. Nothing is going to happen. You need to relax.” Ten minutes later Jamie announced that they were going to go to his tree house. It was down at the far end of the yard. And it was a real tree house, not free standing but built into the side of a tree up in the branches. Jared craned his head to watch them and Jensen laughed. 

“They could fall out of the tree.”

“You never had a broken arm growing up, did you?” Jared shook his head. “Bad sunburn?” Jared shook his head. “Jesus, you were coddled.”

“Why is that a bad thing?”

“Childhood is about falling off your bike, being an idiot, injuring yourself while having fun. Being cast for six weeks is a rite of passage. They have to be allowed to be kids. The tree house is nine feet up over soft ground, a broken bone is the worst that can happen. It’s not like there’re rusty nails under it.”

“But you’re so protective of him,” said Jared.

“Well that’s sort of the point. Unlike most kids he can’t put whatever he likes in his mouth. I have to watch him; I have to make those decisions for him. That’s hard. When he gets older he’s going to resent it, it’s oppressive. But what I can go is give him is the freedom to get boo-boos. Parents nowadays childproof everything to a degree that is just plain paranoid. I’m not saying get rid of childproof lids but people need to lighten up. My parents never babied us. And Josh doesn’t watch his kids every minute. Besides if they decide to do something really dangerous, like climb onto the roof, I have an early warning system.” 

“You have sensors on the roof?” asked Jared. 

“Nah, Mary’s a tattletale.” Jared laughed but Jensen was serious. “Tattletales are a parent’s best friend. They keep an eye on things so you can let things run their course.” He put aside his last test. He kissed Jared, just lightly, before standing. He went down to the pool and picked up the three plates. “I’m going to start on dinner. They’ll crash early.”

“I thought they snuck out after bedtime,” said Jared following him into the kitchen. It was cool inside from the air conditioning. 

“At Josh’s they do. Not here.” 

“They afraid of Uncle Jensen?” 

Jensen laughed, “No. At Josh’s they have four different video game systems, a huge TV and a three-in-one foosball/Ping-Pong/pool table. We don’t have any video games it’s all physical. We have the pool, the tree house and the rarest thing in Texas,” he moved and opened a door that Jared had assumed was a closet. Jared saw stairs going down, “a basement,” finished Jensen. 

“I’ve never seen one of those in Texas.”

Jensen shrugged, “Old house.”

“So what’s down there?” 

“My wedding present to Tricia: a big trampoline.” He shut the door and went to the fridge, getting things out. 

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously. She wanted one really badly. I’m sure they’ll end up down there after dinner. Then we’ll say it’s bedtime, they’ll whine for a few minutes that they aren’t tired and then they’ll pass out.”

“So what are you making?”

“Tacos.”

“I love tacos.”

“Everyone does. The kids love picking their toppings.” 

“Me too,” Jared smiled. “I’ll chop?” 

“Yeah, we make our own salsa; there are too many mystery ingredients in the packaged ones.” He pulled out clearly homemade tortillas from the freezer. 

“Did you always cook?” asked Jared. 

“Hell no. I never cooked. Neither did Tricia.” He started to cook the ground beef. He added seasonings from a plastic container that had a label written in Jensen’s neat handwriting that said “Taco” on the side. “We took a six week cooking class after we got married, that was our present from my parents. We sort of thought it was a joke but we got pretty good, acceptably good, passable. But we still mostly got take away and premade stuff. And then Jamie got his allergies and there was nowhere where we could order from and really trust, especially not at first when they were developing really fast. Premade food was dangerous too, they mention milk and nuts on the labels but he’s allergic to so many things you have to be an expert to vet them and we weren’t. So we cooked everything and a lot of it was trial and error but we got used to it, good at it. When your son can’t eat pretty much anything processed you get good fast. You learn how to cook with vegan cheese.” 

“Wow, I assumed you liked it ‘cause you’re so good at it.”

“I like it now, it’s an act of love and protection and it makes me feel close to him but it was never something I used to do or enjoy.” He stirred the meat as it cooked and added a little water. Jared started to chop things up and they fell into a nice rhythm. He made a salsa, chopped up lettuce and started in on the onions when Jensen said, “Not too many onions. Marky and Mary don’t like onions.” 

“Weird.”

“Much more normal than Jamie who will try and enjoy just about anything.” 

“I was a Jamie, I tried everything. Meg and Jeff were really picky eaters but me, I liked everything.”

Jensen laughed, “How am I not surprised?” 

“You spend a lot of time laughing at me.”

“You’re funny,” responded Jensen.

Jared bumped him with his hip, “You’re laughing with me, right?” Jensen laughed again. “I’m glad I get to sleep here. I had a terrible night last night.” 

“Miss me?”

“Nightmare.”

“I thought you just said that to make Jamie feel better.”

“No, barely got any sleep.”

“Well we’ll cuddle up close and I’ll keep them at bay.” 

“Sounds fun.”

Jensen smiled at him and started making plates, “Scream for the kids?”

Jared opened the sliding doors, “Gentlemen and lady, dinner’s ready.” The dogs came in and Jared fed them with the new homemade kibble and the kids came rushing in after him. 

“Wash your hands,” said Jensen not looking up from what he was doing. He brought the plates to the table as Jared carried over the cheese, salsa, onions and lettuce. 

Jensen ate his with a knife and fork which made Jared laugh and Jensen said, “I’m sorry that I like to eat like an adult.”

“I’m so glad I’m not old,” said Jared folding up a taco for a bite. Jensen rolled his eyes and the kids laughed. 

The Marky and Mary filled Jensen in on their lives and he listened attentively. For someone who was always calling himself a dick, and someone who was so cold to strangers, he was incredibly good with kids. That mattered to Jared. He liked to play down just how many bad relationships he’d been in. He liked that Jensen saw Jared as his first healthy relationship. He liked that Jensen treated him like Jared was the one with experience. But really in high school Jared had felt ashamed of being gay and hadn’t dated anyone. He had sex with a couple of the older boys but he could face what he was doing. And then in senior year of high school he convinced himself he could be straight, slept with Sandy, proposed and hated himself. 

He’d gone to college where he’d been really lonely. Milo had seemed so awesome and had made Jared realize that there was no way he was straight. He took cooking classes and made some superficial friends. Then he’d been in hospital for over two weeks and been so depressed that if it hadn’t been for Chad, Jared would have gone home. Especially as he’d been persona non grata at NYU right up until then and then people had stared at him. They whispered about him and going to class was hell. He’d been so grateful to the CIA for letting him transfer away from all of it. And then Chad had set him up with Mike and that had been ridiculous. But then he’d had two friends. Then Chad had made his rules about who Jared could date but it hadn’t helped. He somehow had a way of dating assholes. Maybe it was him, his vanity made him seem untouchable and maybe they didn’t realize how badly they hurt him. Maybe they thought he was using them too because he was fun and silly, maybe they thought he wasn’t serious about them. 

He’d only had one good relationship: Misha. Sophomore and junior year had been good, really good. He was sexy, kind, an awesome cook and had a great sense of humor. They’d gotten an apartment where they cooked naked a lot and had dinner parties. Misha had been friendly and sweet and had loved him without any pretense, with no conditions. He didn’t stop loving him when Jared gained a little weight, had been great with his dogs, had been really open about being with him and had shared his passions. Jared had been thrilled when Misha got the scholarship to study under amazing chefs in France. Misha had said, “Long distance?” 

Jared had shook his head, “No, that’s not fair. You’re going to the most romantic food location possible. You’ll fall in love with some French boy and you’ll go to the awesome markets together and make each other awesome picnics. And you’ll speak French and drink coffee in French bistros. It’s not fair to ask you to miss that. You deserve to have that without you either felling guilty about dumping me or cheating. So let’s be together now, let’s be happy and when I drop you off at the airport I’ll kiss you like there’s no tomorrow and we’ll be over. Be my friend: write me emails all about the food, and classes, and the country but not the boy. When you come home, if you want to, you look me up.” The program was supposed to last twelve months. Mike moved in with him and Jared dated a parade of douchebags. Misha wrote him emails every week he even sent Jared pictures and eleven months in he called him. 

“Are you home?” asked Jared. “You should be in France for another month.” 

“I’m still in France.” 

“Are you okay? Are you at a hospital or something? Do you need help?” 

Misha had laughed gently, “Jay, I’m fine. I wanted to call you to tell you that I’m not coming home.” He’d sounded sad then, “I love it here and I know you said no strings but I wanted to let you know: I love you but I’m staying here.”

Jared had laughed, “Oh, Meesh, that’s fantastic! I’m so pleased for you. Keep writing to me? I love the stories and the pictures.” 

“Come visit me? You’re graduating in a month. Spend the summer with me?” 

Jared lined up his job for when he came home and went to France, he stayed with Misha for three months, in his bed eating delicious things and still being madly in love with him. They cooked, and went to outdoors markets and it was epic. And then he’d come home and dated a guy who hit him once, then a guy who borrowed money, and then a guy who didn’t like to talk to Jared outside of bed and on and on. Now he was with a man who was nice to his dogs, a great cook, sexy as hell, fun and smart. 

Jensen was good with kids and that mattered because anyone could be good with peers, it was expected. But being good with kids while still being authoritative meant being sensitive, honest, clever and a diplomat. Jensen had a safe feeling about him that Jared loved because it had been a really long time since he felt happy, loved and safe. 

“Jared?” Jensen was looking at him, waiting for an answer. 

“Sorry, wandered. What?” The kids laughed at him. 

“You ate five tacos without checking in.” Jared looked down at his plate which was empty. Jensen smiled, “You had seconds and everything. Where were you?”

“France.”

“Would you like some coffee now that you’re back?” asked Jensen with a gentle smile.

“That would be awesome.” Jared sprung up and picked up the plates smiling at the kids. He started to load the dishwasher as Jensen got the second round of ice pops out for the kids. 

Jensen stood next to him as he set up the coffee machine, “So what was it really?” he asked softly. 

“How great you are, and how happy I was in college and visiting a friend in France.”

“Oh, Misha, right.” Jared was surprised. “You are a rambler during private grownup time, it freaked me out at first but I like it now.” Jensen smiled at him, “He sounds really nice.” 

“You’re nicer. I wouldn’t let you go to France. I’d follow you not just for a vacation.” 

Jensen laughed, “Good to know.” Jared leaned over and kissed his cheek. Jared got out the soymilk and Jensen started pouring the coffee. “Kids, when you finish your ice pops you can play on the trampoline for a half hour but then it’s PJs and bed.”

Jamie and Marky groaned but Mary said, “Commercial break, Dora or Sesame Street?” 

“Dora,” said Jensen.

“Can we have a Sesame Street instead?” asked Mary.

“No, a Dora,” said Jensen.

“Can we have a bedtime story?” asked Jamie.

“A Curious George, nothing longer,” said Jensen. The kids finished their ice pops and head for the stairs.

“Dora?” repeated Jared.

“Dora the Explorer: it’s a half hour long. A commercial break is five minutes. Sesame Street is an hour. Mary doesn’t understand time yet.”

“Yes I do!” said a voice from behind the basement door. 

Jensen smiled, “She does, however, get eavesdropping.” He spoke softly then raised his voice, “Mary, you only have a Dora to play on the trampoline.” The sound of small feet running down the stairs made Jensen laugh. 

“You’re really amazing with them.”

“I like kids, always have.”

“When we first met I forgot to ask you what you do because you’re so defined by being a dad.”

Jensen shrugged, “Some people think kids aren’t people and some think they’re little adults. Neither is true. I always find that you can talk to kids like they’re normal people, they have opinions and personalities. They’re just as good to talk to as anyone else. I talk to them on their level without condescending, they’re young not stupid. And kids like me for it.” 

Jensen put them to bed and Jared heard him reading them a story about when the monkey and the man in the yellow hat went to an airport. He heard him telling them to go to sleep. When he came out he said softly, “Do you want to swim?” Jared nodded and Jensen took him by the hand and they changed into swim suits. “The kids might wake up so we need clothing,” Jensen explained. He watched as Jared changed.

Jen grabbed towels and Jared said, “Can we actually swim? I didn’t get a chance to run today.”

“Sure,” Jensen dropped the towels onto a chair. He went to the diving board and did a back handspring into the pool. Sadie jumped in after him while Harley waded in from the stairs and Jared jumped in off the side. “No racing,” said Jensen, “Let’s just enjoy this.” Jensen started swimming laps and Sadie swam with him. Jared treaded water, getting used to the water temperature. Harley swam around him in a circle, excited to be in the pool without getting splashed by kids. Jared fell into swimming laps and the dogs played together, sometimes swimming next to him and Jensen, sometimes just chasing each other. After about an hour Jensen started to just float on his back. He was looking up at the stars and he sighed, “I love nights in Texas in the early summer. It’s wonderful.” Jared came to him and kissed him slowly. 

“I love you, Jen,” said Jared. 

“You too, Jay. Want to get out?” 

Jared nodded, “My muscles are starting to burn.” 

They got out and dried themselves and the dogs, “I’m going to show you how not to have a nightmare.” Jensen smiled at him, “First let’s put on PJs, comfy ones.” 

In the bedroom Jensen pulled on an old beaten up UT t-shirt and thin pants. And Jared pulled on his vain shirt that Chad had made him and sweats. Then Jensen led him back to the kitchen, “Would you like red or white with your cookies?” 

“Red.”

Jensen poured them wine and took out the cookies. “Are you afraid of going to sleep?” 

“No, just of dreams.” 

“What happens in your dreams?”

“Reporters eat me alive: they peel off strips of me and eat them while taking pictures.” 

Jensen smiled and held out a hand, “Let me show you,” said Jensen. Then he led him to the door, “See it’s locked,” Then he pushed aside the curtain and said, “Look, no reporters now. And, I’m big and strong and won’t let them near you.” 

Jared laughed, “Why do I think you’ve given this speech before?” 

“Because I said it to Jamie last night.” He led Jared back to the kitchen where they drank their wine and ate their cookies then Jensen said, “Come to bed.” He curled up with Jared and the dogs and said, “Now I promise: I will protect you from any and all cannibalistic paparazzi.” 

The next morning Marky and Mary went home and Jared went to shop for the school lunch. He and Jamie went over their plan of attack and that night Jamie and Jensen sat at the piano and played for over two hours. They were laughing and Jensen was saying, “Let me show you, there’s a trick to this bit.” Then Jamie went to bed and Jensen said, “I’m going to fuck you now.” They made love until late. Jensen fucked him slowly and gently. It was almost methodical, licking him opened and playing with his nipples and getting Jared on edge before Jensen was even inside. It left Jared panting and sobbing from relief. Just as Jared was falling off to sleep Jensen said, “I hope you have a great day at school tomorrow.” 

But it wasn’t so great. It started out fine when Jamie was introducing him and when the kids were asking him questions. Cooking went well and the kids really enjoyed the food. It wasn’t until dessert that things went bad. Suddenly Jamie was going white and red, he was clutching at his throat and then he was falling out of his seat. Sera Gamble was fast and Jared watched, stunned as she jammed an EpiPen into the little boy’s thigh. She was telling one of the children to get the nurse and Jared was dialing 911 and telling them where they were and almost tripped over the word anaphylaxis. The nurse came in with a man and said, “Mr. Kripke is going to take you all back to class.” She came and knelt beside Jamie. 

Jared listened to the 911 dispatcher and relayed the message, “They’ll be here in ten minutes.” 

The nurse said, “Stay on that line.” She was taking Jamie’s pulse and breathing rate and said, “I’m giving him another EpiPen.” To Sera she said, “Which thigh did you give him the last one in?” Jared relayed what was going on to the guy on the other end of the phone and the nurse looked at him, “You were cooking?” 

“I went over the menu with Jensen, everything was fine, we cooked this meal just the other night.”

She nodded, “Okay, here’s what you need to do: pack up all the food he ate. They need to test it to see what happened. Tell the dispatcher that no matter where the ambulance is from he has to go to Richardson Regional Medical Center. Tell the dispatcher to page Dr. Kim Manners to tell him that Jamie’s on his way in.” 

Jared did as she said and watched as she rolled Jamie over onto his side. Sera was on the phone, talking to Jensen. Jamie started convulse and then vomited. The woman held him gently and cleaned him up. Sera got a container and scooped the puke into it. “How are you so calm?” asked Jared. 

“This is the third time in two years,” said the nurse. “I need you to be calm too, Jared. Help Sera pack your car. She’s going to drive your car and follow the ambulance. I’ll follow her in my car. You can’t help him right now but the doctors will want all this stuff to figure out what he’s reacting to.” So Jared did as he was told. 

The ride to the hospital was tense as Jared listed off his allergies. There were also a ton of paparazzi following them. And then they were there, the paparazzi crowding around the hospital and he met Kim Manners who looked more like an aged rocker than someone with an M.D. The man was instantly taking care of Jamie, getting his vitals and stripping him. He asked Jared to tell him exactly what had happened and Jared explained in detail. Sera and the nurse were carrying in all the containers and handing them off to other doctors. Kim spoke gently and told him to stay where he was and then Jensen was bursting through the doors. Jensen just looked at him and through the window into the room where Kim was hooking Jamie up to machines. 

“I don’t know what happened,” said Jared, “he was fine and then he just-”

“I’ve seen it, I don’t want the recap,” said Jensen coldly he just stared through the window.

“Is there anything I can do?” Jared asked him. 

“Just leave.”

Jared didn’t get it, “Do you want me to go to the house and get you something?”

“Yes, that’s a great idea, Jared, go to the house and take all of your stuff home with you. Leave us alone.” He turned away from his son slowly and looked at Jared as he said, “The first time I trusted you with him you fucked up. I wrote you a list, I gave you instructions, and you hurt him. You landed him in the hospital and he’s going to have to stay here for a long time and miss the trip to the zoo his class is going on.   
“This isn’t the even end of it, Jared, just because he’s here doesn’t mean he’s okay: he might still die. It’s not even stopped yet, he’s still developing symptoms and he could die. You did this. You didn’t mean to but you were careless and I could lose him, my baby, because you were careless. And I’m not sure if I’m angrier at you for fucking up or me for thinking you could be trusted. So get out.”

Jared nodded silently and turned away just as he saw the shocked look on Kim’s face. He saw the man rush to a cart in the corner and a crash cart with little, child-sized paddles. He watched as the man hit a button and read his lips as he said, “Clear.” He saw the way Jamie’s body jumped and the strained look on the doctor’s face, reading the machines. Again he saw the man’s mouth form, “Clear,” again. And again he watched Jamie’s small frame rock up. The doctor looked relieved. The door opened and he said, “Jen, we are going to need to intubate him. His throat is too swollen. He’s out so he won’t fight it. It’ll help him.” 

“What about vomiting? That sometimes happens when he goes into anaphylaxis.”

“We’re giving him something to stop that. This the best way, Jen. I need your permission.”

“Whatever you think, Kim. How’s his tachycardia?” 

“Better, not great but better. He just needed so much epinephrine before he got here. You know how it is: worse before it gets better.”

Jensen nodded. “Is there anything I can do?” 

“Just stay close. You call your family?”

“Yeah.”

“Good; you need people around you. You’re always so high strung. And we are doing everything, Jen. Just be close so that you can come in once we’re on safer ground.”

“Do you know, I mean, you know how long?” 

“Not yet, Jen, but I’ll keep you updated.” 

“Thanks, Kim, honestly.” He turned to the window. “I’ll be right here.” Kim nodded and left and Jensen still looking through the window said, “Jared, I told you to leave.” 

“I’m sorry, Jensen. I’m so sorry.” 

“I know, Jared, but it’s not good enough.” 

Jared nodded and left and fought his way out through paparazzi.

~~~

He recognized the footsteps behind him from episodes of Deadwood. He’d only had three conversations with Jim Beaver: No I don’t want to be on the PTA, No I don’t want to be on the PTA, Don’t let Jamie buy anything at the bake sale no matter what he says. He didn’t really want to talk to the man now. But if he just started speaking and didn’t let Jim ask questions it would be better. “When I was little I wanted to be a grownup. I used to wear my dad’s ties and his shoes. My momma wanted my older brother to play the piano, he was seven. She said, ‘big boys play the piano without complaining.’ I was four and that afternoon I sat down and studied the music and the keys. And I figured out how to play some of the songs I liked by messing about with the keys and that meant I could figure out the sheet music backwards. By the time I was six I could play anything. I was very grownup.   
“When I was fifteen I fell in love for the first time and I thought: this is being a grownup. I had adult feelings and I wanted to be culpable to him. I wanted to be good enough. Then it ended so badly, all over the tabloids and I cried so much and didn’t feel at all grown up. And then I went to college and I fed myself, and did my laundry, and was a competent, capable, and independent grownup. I called my parents once a week and led my own life. I graduated, bought a house and married my best friend.   
“And then one day, after nine months of waiting, a man handed me seven pounds four ounces of life. This ugly bald thing, that was screaming and covered in blood. He had ten toes, ten fingers, and my uncle Mort’s nose. And I was instantly in love. I was happier then than I had ever been in my whole life. And Tricia and I we were so amazingly thrilled with our beautiful little boy. I was no longer responsible to anyone but him, not parents or teachers or boyfriends, not even myself. I could miss a shower, or not sleep, or miss a meal so long as I took care of him. And for a long time I believed that I really, finally, was the grownup I’d always been playing at.   
“But watching Kim Manners pushing a tube down the throat of my seven pounds four ounces of life so that he’ll stop being blue… I am not a grownup. There’s no such thing as a grownup. The big kids just teach the little kids the rules to a gigantic secret game. Right now I want out. I want to be in my father’s closet trying on his shoes and wondering if my feet will ever be that big. Because how can I pretend to be a grown up when he might die within hours? For the last four years I have lived at a constant low level of panic. The last two years have been worse because there’s no Tricia here to talk to, to worry with or to tell me to relax. Every time he puts something in his mouth his body actively tries to kill him. So I just walk around pretending to be Big, Strong, Confident Daddy for his sake. But he’s unconscious so there’s no incentive for the act. He won’t be on the zoo trip that’s for sure. And I know just enough from all these hospital stays to know that he’s got at least thirty minutes to live, after that it’s a guess.” 

“Is there anything I can do?” asked Jim. “Anything?”

Jensen thought, “Stand here for three minutes while I run to the nurse’s lounge and grab coffee.”

“I could get it for you.”

Jensen shook his head, “No because then I have to ask you what you’ve eaten for your last three meals and how many times you’ve washed your hands. Because I need to be totally clean when I finally get to go in there. But thanks, would you just stand here and tell Kim if he comes out that I will be right back?”

“Of course.”

“Do you want one?” 

“No, thank you.” 

Jensen walked to the nurse’s lounge, disgusted by how well he knew the place. He’d bought the damn coffee machine. The fact that all the nurses greeted him by name also creeped him out. He poured himself a cup of coffee and went back to the hall. He watched as they took blood and said, “Thank you, Jim.”

Jim said nothing just stood next to him. Then Annie was there, hugging him really, really close. He hugged her back, clung to her and breathed in slowly. She said hello to Jim but didn’t stop hugging Jensen. Pulling back slightly she said, “Mom and Dad, and your mom and dad and Mackenzie are on the way. Josh is on standby. Josh is waiting because Linda is out of town visiting her sister. He has the kids and he figured as opposed to swamping the hospital with more kids he’d wait until things calm down a bit. Jeff Morgan is dropping the kids off at Katherine’s mom’s house and will be here soon.” To Jim she said, “You can go. I’ve got this.” 

“Is there anything I can do?” asked Jim. 

“You did it,” said Jensen, “you waited here while I got coffee; that was a big help. Please go.” The man left and Jensen was grateful. He was leaning into Annie and he realized, “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you support me.”

“That’s okay. Where’s Jared?”

“He poisoned Jamie, I threw him out.” 

“Jensen,” she said slowly. 

“He may have killed my son. I don’t want to look at him.” 

“Have you sat down yet?”

“I’m waiting to be told to go shower.”

“Maybe you should sit down until they tell you to go in.”

“No, I can sit once I’m in there.” And then Jeff Morgan was walking in with Mackie then they were both hugging him and looking through window at Jamie who was being shocked again. 

For three hours he stood and watched the doctors running all sorts of tests and kept carting more machines into the room. Kim came to him twice to give him updates which were basically that there weren’t any updates. He sent Jeff home and then Tom came with Chris. They stood on either side of him and his parents kept handing him coffee. Finally during hour five Kim popped his head out and said, “Jen, go shower. He’s stable enough for that.” 

Jensen said, “Thank God.” As he jogged away he heard Chris and Tom asking where Jared was. He didn’t care. He scrubbed fast and changed into sterile scrubs and pulled disposable booties over his shoes. Inside the room he sank down on the edge of Jamie’s bed, taking his little boy’s hands in his own, “Hi, baby. I’m right here. It’s all going to be okay now ‘cause I’m right here and I’m never going to let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise.” He started to weep, exhausted from the worry and angry at himself for ever trusting someone with the most important person in his life. He knew his family was watching through the window but he couldn’t care right then. He just cried and held Jamie’s hands. 

Kim came in and said, “Jensen, I have some bad news but I need you to remain calm.” Jensen nodded slowly. “Jared packed up everything in school kitchen, all the food, utensils, cookware and Jamie’s vomit. There wasn’t anything suspect there.”

“What?”

“There was nothing Jamie is allergic to. He wasn’t exposed to something we know he’s allergic to.” 

Jensen felt himself going cold. “So he’s allergic to something new?” 

“Yes,” said Kim. “I’m so sorry, Jensen. He’s developed another allergy. Right now he’s stable and we’re going to keep him that way. He needs time to work this out of his system. It could take some time, you know that. Then he’s going to need to stay here until his body can heal itself. Once he’s healthy enough we’ll do a new round of RAST tests, figure out what’s going on. Until then he’s not going to be able to eat anything so he’ll be on TPN which I know is very distressing to him.” 

The tests were exorbitantly expensive but they didn’t get Jamie sick so Jensen just nodded. “Okay.” 

“This wasn’t Jared’s fault.” 

Jensen just nodded. Kim said, “Your parents and in-laws have showered. They would like to come in, then Annie and Mack, and Chris is shouting that he’s the godfather and Tom is pretty insistent that if people are coming in in pairs then he should be allowed to come in with Chris.” 

Jensen nodded again, “Kim, can you promise me that if I let them in, if I give them twenty minutes a pair that he’ll be alive in an hour and twenty minutes for me to come back to? Can you give me that much?”

“I can promise you at least three hours,” said Kim, “I can promise you that much.”

Jensen nodded, “Three hours is better than nothing, right?” He opened the door and pulled off the booties, dumping them into the trash. Outside he said, “Jamie has developed a new allergy and once he’s healthy again we’ll do new RAST tests. You guys can go in in pairs for twenty minutes each. I need to call Jared.”

He didn’t wait for them to say anything He just went outside and dialed his phone. There were a ton of paparazzi being held back by cops. Jared picked up almost instantly, “Hey, how is he?” asked Jared sounding scared.

“Kim’s promised me at least three hours. You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s allergic to something new. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry about what I said. Come back? Please.”

“Of course. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“I love you, I’m sorry for what I said and I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I know how terrifying it is. So thank you for keeping him alive and going in the ambulance with him because I’m glad he had someone he loves and who loves him beside him.” 

“I’m just glad he’s stable. I’m going to stop by your house and I’ll be there soon. I love you both.” 

They hung up and Jensen went back inside and scrubbed his hands. He stood outside Jamie’s room and looked in through the window as his family held Jamie. He waited for his turn to go in. He drank some more coffee and was starting to feel jittery but he wasn’t willing to eat anything from the cafeteria or the vending machines. Jared came in forty minutes later. And Jensen smiled at him, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I thought I’d poisoned him too. Don’t be sorry, you were scared.” Jared looked in the window, “How is he?”

“Stable. That’s the best we can ask for right now. His body needs to get the antigen out of his system then his body needs to recoup, that takes time. It’s a waiting game to see what we can hope for.” Jared leaned in but Jensen stepped back, “No touching until you’ve showered.”

Jared nodded, “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He had a plastic bag with him. “I figured you can’t really eat anything from the cafeteria so I made you a dinner at your house. It’s all Jamie safe but there’s nothing in it that he has eaten today.” He pulled out Tupperware that Jensen recognized as his own and a fork. “I also brought toothpaste and your toothbrush, your contact case, contact solution, and your glasses. For Jamie I brought his Mickey bed sheets, Tricia’s lion and his CD player with of few of the CDs of you and Tricia singing. I know he’s not awake but you said he’s going to be here for a long time so I thought maybe it would be best to have it all here waiting. So eat and I’ll go shower.” Jensen nodded and took the Tupperware and fork. 

“Thank you.” Jared just smiled and headed towards the shower and Jensen opened the Tupperware and saw brown rice and chicken and vegetables in a sauce still warm. He ate it quickly and realized he was hungry and that it was delicious. To his family he said what he always said and what was always ignored, “You guys can go. I’ll call if something happens.” People just rolled their eyes and Jensen went to brush his teeth and wash his hands and face. He came back to the hallways to see Jared now dressed in scrubs. That was when he finally hugged Jared. 

“Hi,” said Jared. 

“Hey,” responded Jensen, “Once Tom and Chris come out we can go in.” He pulled new booties on over his shoes. “They only have like five minutes left.”

“You put them on a time budget?”

“Yeah, I want back in. In a few hours, if there’s any improvement or nothing gets worse we’ll do a second round. And then maybe when he gets a little better we can have a few more people in the room.” 

Jared nodded. He introduced himself to the Palickis and Jensen’s parents. Then Chris and Tom came out and Jensen pulled Jared into the room quickly, with the stuff Jared had brought him. “Hi, baby, I’m back. Jared’s here, he brought you your lion.” He placed the lion at the foot of the bed. Then he moved to the head of the bed, stroked Jamie’s hair off his face and kissed his cheek. He sat down on the bed and motioned for Jared to sit in the chair right next to the bed. Jared moved very carefully and slowly, like moving the air might damage Jamie. “Jared, you can touch him, it’s alright. You’re not going to hurt him.” Jared was watching the heart monitor. Jamie’s pulse kept going up and down, too fast, too slow over and over again. “It’s okay, this is normally his reaction. It’s not good but it’s not too bad. Kim wouldn’t let us in here if we were endangering him.” 

Jared came over and took Jamie’s hand. “I am so sorry, Jamie.”

“Jared,” said Jensen softly, “it could have just as easily been me. I could have done it. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m the one who was cooking.”

Jensen stared down at Jamie, stroking his face. “I wish I’d been there. It’s really terrifying, the first time it happened I was positive he would be dead by the time we got to the hospital. Tricia was wailing and I was painfully calm, I was acting on autopilot. It never gets easier. It never gets less terrifying or easier but at least you know what to do, you have a little power over the situation. I’m sorry that you were by yourself.” 

“I just dialed 911 and stood back. I was so shocked I just wanted to get of the way.” 

“And that was the best thing you could do. If you don’t know what to do get out of the way and call the ambulance, it’s a very necessary and useful step. You made sure he got here to Kim, that’s good. I’m really sorry I threw you out of here, I’m sorry I freaked out, I should have known better. I-”

“I agreed with you. I agreed completely. I thought I’d done poisoned him, I thought I was entirely at fault and I didn’t want to get dumped but I totally got why I was being dumped. I wasn’t angry. I would have dumped me too. I agreed so you don’t need to apologize. Can I be undumped?” 

“Of course you are,” Jensen reached out and took his free hand. “Of course you are. I love you, I just go a little insane when he’s in danger.” 

“So how does this work? When do we know if he’s going to be okay?” 

He breathed out slowly. “He has to get through tonight. If he does that’s a good sign. The first twenty-four hours are really big. He might crash again, we just have to wait. Once they needed to use the paddles five different times. He’s got a lot of swelling, that’s why he’s intubated, his throat is too swollen to get air in. If it gets worse he might have even more problems with his breathing, his lungs might get swollen. Right now, we can’t expect him to get better soon. We have to hope it plateaus. Once his body clears the antigen he’d going to be very weak because his body is fighting, he’ll need a lot of rest so he will still be unconscious. Once he’s cleared the antigen Kim can start with RAST tests even if he’s not awake.” 

“What’s a RAST test? Is that where they put the dots under your skin?”

“No, he’s too sensitive for skin test. These are blood tests. They can really isolate the problem and if he’s clear they can start before he’s even awake. Which is good. It could take anything from hours to days for him to wake up. When he does we aren’t out of the woods, he’ll still be really sick. He’s going to hate being intubated, for the first few minutes it scares him. Once all the swelling goes down they can remove the tube, hopefully before he wakes up, and he can have a mask until he can breathe all by himself. He’s also going to be upset because he can’t eat until we’ve finished some of the RAST tests. That takes a couple of days so he’s going to be on TPN, which is just IV food. The problem with that is that it’s not good for his GI tract, or his liver. 

“He’s going to feel really lousy, sick, tired and groggy. He’s going to be scared, he’s going to cry a lot and be really cuddly. He’s going to be physically frail. His body has taken a lot of energy fighting so hard, so he’s going to sleep a lot and he’ll be really vulnerable to infections or even the minutest trace of something he’s allergic to because his immune system is all out of whack. He’ll need to stay here until he’s strong. That will probably take a few weeks. We’ll know he is really getting better when he’s bored and whiney instead of scared and clingy. So that’s how it works, if it all goes well.” 

Explanation done Jensen started to cry. Jared moved to hug him and Jensen clung to him, “I hate that I can lay it out for you, or that I know that TPN stands for total parenteral nutrition, or that RAST test are radioallergosorbent test. I hate the waiting. I hate that the nurses know me by name, I hate that he has spent almost a year collectively in this building, I hate that this is his life. I hate that I’m his dad and I can’t fix any of it. He’s six: he shouldn’t have to deal with any of this.” 

Jared held him really close, stroking his back not saying anything, just hugging him as Jensen sobbed. He buried his face in Jared’s shoulder and cried. He couldn’t stop and Kim came in and Kim said, “He’s doing okay, Jensen. He’s doing better than he was when he came in.” 

Jensen nodded but didn’t move his face away from Jared’s chest. ‘Thanks, Kim,” said Jared, “I’ve got Jen, he’s okay.” 

“It’s late,” said Kim. “I’m going to send in a parent cot and I want to sleep for a little while.” 

Jensen couldn’t bring himself to speak. Jared said, “Thanks, Kim. How long can you promise?”

“At least six, but it keeps looking better.” 

“Thanks,” said Jared. As Kim left Jared said, “Maybe you should lay down, you don’t have to sleep, but this way you’ll be rested.” He pulled away gently and washed his hands and then got out Jensen’s contact case. “Open your eyes, there’s no mirror in here.” Jared gently held his left eye open and adroitly removed the lens, it was fast and clean. He repeated the process on his right eye. Then he handed Jensen his glasses. “Better?” 

“Thank you. You’re really good at that.”

“Meggie, my sister, she needed help for the first six months when she got contacts.”

“Thanks.” A nurse came in with a bed and Jensen said, “Thanks, Dawn.” 

“Try to get some sleep,” she smiled and he tried to smile back. 

Jared gently pushed him to the bed, “I think that’s stupid. Why should you sleep? Just get a little rest.” Jensen sat on the bed and Jared pulled off his shoes for him. “Lay down, Jen.” 

The next thing he knew it was light and Jensen was terrified. It showed in his face and Jared said, “Everything’s okay, Jamie’s okay. Kim said he’s doing better. He said Jamie’s doing really well. You got six hours sleep; I would have woken you if Kim hadn’t kept extending the deadline. He kept giving him six hours, so I thought you could have two more hours each time. When he switched to giving him nine hours I figured you could sleep a little more and then Kim said he’d stopped giving deadlines. So I thought you could use the sleep now, before he’s awake and needs you.”

Jensen sat up, “Thank you.” He rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses. 

“It’s six AM.”

“Wow.”

Jared smiled, “I’m going to go to your house, cook everyone some breakfast and bring the dogs to Mike. I didn’t want to leave while you were asleep.” He looked out the window, “Annie’s the only one awake so I’ll send her in.” 

Jensen realized that Jared looked wiped, “Have you slept?” 

“No, I’m okay. Once I get back I’ll sleep for a little while. I’m fine to drive, don’t worry. You gonna be okay if I go?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’ll have the family cycling through.” He leaned forward to kiss Jared gently, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Then Jared was gone and Annie came in they didn’t talk much, just watched Jamie sleep. Jensen liked to think “sleep” not coma. Annie sat holding Jensen’s hand and Jamie’s. 

Kim came in a few minutes later and said, “I’m glad you’re awake, Jamie is doing wonderfully. His latest tests are showing great progress. Because he puked so much, and has sweat so much the antigen is out of his system, he’s still having an allergic reaction but he’s not going to develop any more symptoms.” Jensen nodded, feeling relieved. “I’m going to take blood. I’m going to take five vials, that seems like a lot but this way we’ll be able to take less once he’s awake.” Jensen nodded and Kim began, the sight of Jamie’s blood always made Jensen feel queasy but he didn’t move away. It took a few minutes and then Kim said, “All done.” He smiled at Jensen, “That was very brave.” Jensen forced a laugh. “I’m going to get started on everything he ate yesterday. I can get twenty-five tests out of every vial. I’ll update you once we get some results.”

“Thank you, Kim. Jared said you were in and out last night, so thanks for losing so much sleep.” 

“I got some. Jared didn’t so I’m leaving the parent cot in here.” 

“Good idea.” 

Kim left and Annie said, “God, that’s a relief.” 

“Yeah,” said Jensen. “Yeah, that’s certainly something. Jared went to cook us breakfast. Are you angry at me?”

“Why would I be angry?” 

“Because usually you’re the person in here all night and now it’s Jared.” 

“No, I’m not angry. He’s the one who should be in here. He’s the one who stayed up all night and he’s been freaking out and I don’t know how to take out someone else’s contacts. He loves you and I’m glad.”

“Good, that’s good.” They fell back into silence.

Annie left when his mom woke up, “Hi, sweetheart,” she said softly and Jensen smiled. 

“Please don’t whisper, Momma, it makes me feel like we’re sitting death vigil. You’re not going to wake him by talking. Please don’t whisper.” 

She said, “Okay, Jared seems nice.” 

“He’s a good man. I screamed at him yesterday and now he’s cooking everyone’s breakfast and brought Jamie’s lion.”

“You like him?” 

“I love him. I want him to move in. We’re giving it a while, but I really want him there.” 

She smiled and it was a really bright smile, “That’s wonderful, sweetheart. It’s been a really long time since you liked anyone important.”

Nodding he said, “Yeah, he’s pretty important to me. We’re doing this barbeque I don’t know when Jamie will be allowed to go home but everyone’s supposed to be coming. I mean everyone, even all the Dark Angel and Dawson’s Creek kids. And I’m really excited, actually I’ve been looking forward to it. Ever since Jared took me to the party at Tommy’s I’ve been looking forward to having a big, old fashioned, everyone together party. It feels like getting back on track, I quit my job. Once Jamie’s out of here I’m going to call my agent, put out feelers for movies.” 

“Wow,” said his mom. She was stroking Jamie’s hands. “I’m glad.” 

“I just want him to wake up, Momma. I want him to be able to talk to him, tell him I’m here. I can’t hold him while he’s intubated. Until I can hold him I can’t believe he’s going to be okay.” 

His mom sighed, “Sometimes I don’t understand why anyone has children. I remember after Kerr. I wanted to kill him and I wanted you to never leave my sight, never get hurt again. Having kids is like having pieces of your heart walking around. When you’re not there, when you’re not with those pieces of your heart, you don’t know what they’re doing. You can’t control what happens to your kids or what they do. And that… sucks. You never stop worrying. I worry about you and how you cut yourself off. I worry about Josh’s job, because he works for the government in this economy. I worry about Mack’s wedding, I worry about her happiness.”

“Gee, Momma, thanks for the pep talk.”

She laughed, “But I love you, you make me so happy and proud. Having you three kids was the best thing that ever your dad and I ever did. In the end all the pain and worry it’s worth it.” 

Jensen studied Jamie, “Yeah, he’s the love of my life.”

Then Jared popped his head in the room. He was wearing street clothes, “Hey, your dad is awake and wants to come in. Why don’t you come eat some breakfast?” 

Jensen nodded, “That sounds good.” He kissed Jamie’s forehead, “I’ll be back soon, baby.” He pulled his shoes on and came out. “Dad, it’s your turn.” 

Jared smiled, “Sit down.” There was his cast-iron pot on a chair. “The cast-iron keeps the rice cereal warm longer.” He served Jensen cereal in a paper bowl with a plastic spoon. “I figured we didn’t want a lot of dirty dishes. Now sit right here.” Jared left him for a moment as Jensen ate. When he came back he was holding coffee, “Sorry, they don’t have any soy milk, but I sugar loaded it.” 

“Awesome,” said Jensen. He took a sip and ate his cereal. “Good rice cereal.” 

“I made a ton: thought people can warm it up later if they want.” 

“Dogs okay?” 

“Fine, I think they were a little lonely last night. I dropped them at Mike’s. He said that he can take care of them indefinitely.” 

“Cool.” 

“How’s Jamie doing?” 

“Kim started the RASTs, so that’s good. Kim thinks he’s stable for now.” Then he added softly, “I want a cigarette. We need to get a distraction.” 

“Okay, gimme a sec.” He covertly took out his phone and typed something. A few moments later Chris pulled out his phone. 

“Jen, once you finish yer breakfast Steve wants us to call. We’re not allowed to make calls in here.” 

“Okay,” said Jensen with a nod. He finished his cereal, kissed Jared’s cheek and said, “That was great.” 

“Let’s go to my car,” said Chris. “We gotta fight our way through the press.”

They walked out ignoring the press and thankfully being close to Chris worked out well because Chris was built and literally just pushed people out of the way. He brought Jensen through the maze of the parking structure, losing the paparazzi quickly. They got into his car and Chris handed him his cigarettes. “Here, son, knock yourself out.” Jensen lit one and Chris said, “Let’s go out the back way.” He pulled out and went the back way out, thankfully other people were leaving and the paparazzi got confused. 

Jensen took a long drag. “What did Jared text you?” 

“Jen wants a cig. Say Steve wants to talk.” He shrugged, “Good plan. But your momma knows.”

“No she doesn’t,” Jensen took another long drag.

“Yes she does.”

“No she doesn’t.”

“Jen, I know your momma’s face. I’m tellin’ you: she knows.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Okay. It’s good news about Jamie. I mean the fact that Kim can start the RASTs less than twenty-four hours in, that’s awesome.” 

Jensen looked down, “I’m still wearing scrubs.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. You’ll need to shower and change your scrubs as you’ve been outside and touched stuff.”

“Maybe Momma won’t smell the smoke.”

“Yeah, and maybe she believed that we were sober that time when I puked in your kitchen sink and you fell over while tryin’ to convince her it was bad fish taco.” 

Jensen laughed, “Yeah, she didn’t buy it but she also didn’t ground me or call your parents.”

“She is a cool lady.” Chris reached over for a cigarette as Jensen finished his first cigarette and lit a second. “She was always the coolest mom on the street.”

“Yeah, LeAnn’s mom was a hard ass.”

“Yeah, she was scary.”

They slipped to silence and then Jensen said, “What if he can’t drink?” 

“What?”

“What if he’s allergic to alcohol? What if he can’t drink and do all the stupid things you should be able to do when you’re a teenager.” 

“We can’t do nothin’ ‘bout that yet. Worry about today and let tomorrow worry about itself.”

Jensen nodded, “I know. It’s just that the hospital breeds worries for me. Every time we end up here I wonder if he’s going to wake up, or make it home, or ever grow up. I mean how many times can he get better from this? It takes so much out of him. How much punishment can his body take? It’s a very little body.” 

Chris said, “He’s alive right now, he’s getting better right now, that’s fantastic and that’s what we have to focus on that because that’s great.” 

“Yeah, I know.”

Chris smiled, “Let’s call Steve. He needs an update.” 

Jensen turned his phone on and put it on speakerphone. When Steve picked up he said, “Hey, Jensen. How’s Jamie doing?” 

The cadence and speed were off and Jensen said, “Steve, are you straight right now?” 

“Well, if the question is am I jerking off thinking of girls, the answer is that that’s fucking disgusting. But I haven’t smoked.”

“Seriously?” 

Chris laughed and Steve said, “Am I on speaker phone?”

“Yeah, we’re in the car smoking.”

“Oh, well I’m sober ‘cause I might need to drive over there as Chris is with you and I’m not as stupid as I was when we were kids. How’s Jamie?” 

“He’s okay, he’s stable and we’re doing all the tests now.” 

“How’s his pulse? That’s usually his problem.”

“His pulse is pretty even now. It was jumping all over the place last night now it’s just a little fast.”

“Your parents and everyone there? They usually stay until he’s out of danger.” 

“Yeah, they’re here.”

“You need anything?”

“No, I’m okay, Jared’s been amazing, he keeps thinking of everything.”

“Will you let me know when I can come? I don’t want to invade or get in the way but I really want to see you and I’ll help however I can.”

“Thanks, Steve. Are you going to stay sober all the time?”

“The great thing about being a stoner is that you can’t actually be physically addicted to it. It’s only the action that’s addictive. I’ve been hand rolling cigarettes. It’s close enough.” 

“That means a lot, man.”

“I’d stay straight for you any day, son. You’re sure there’s nothing I can do?” 

Jensen thought and then said, “Actually there is. I want you guys to be nicer to Chad. I already told Tom.”

Chris laughed, “Where’s this comin’ from?”

“It’s coming from the parent. If Jamie went to college and his best friend asked him to move halfway across the country to help him with his show and then all of his best friend’s new friends were dicks I would be really upset. Chad’s a nice guy and I don’t like it. So my suggestion is be nice to him, if you are nice to him you might actually find you like him. So if you want to do something, Steve, call Chad and tell him that Jamie is doing way better and that I’ll let him know if he can visit before he has to fly out Wednesday night.”

“Okay,” said Steve. “I can do that.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, “I like Chad.” 

They made their goodbyes. He hung up and Jensen finished his second cigarette. “You want a third or should we head back?” asked Chris. 

“Let’s go back, I don’t want to be away too long.” Chris rounded a corner and pulled back into the hospital. They parked and Jensen said, “You don’t have any febreze do you?” 

“No, I’m not sixteen and covering the fact that I smoke.”

“Damn it.” 

“Just let me do the talking.” They parked and got out. They waded back through the paparazzi. Jensen kept his head down and ignored the questions. As they got to Jamie’s floor, by his room and where his family would hear, Chris said, “Jensen, you reek of cigarettes: that what being in my car does. I smoke too much; you should shower before goin’ in to see your boy.” 

“Yeah,” agreed Jensen. He looked in through the window of Jamie’s room. Jared was wearing scrubs and was passed out on the cot Kim had left. His mom and his mother-in-law were both sitting with Jamie. 

Jensen went to the showers, discarded his scrubs and washed thoroughly and quickly. He brushed his teeth and put on new scrubs. Back in the hall he looked in the door and saw Kim by Jamie’s monitors. “How is he, Kim?” he asked softly.

Kim smiled, “I am pleased to say I’m changing his chart from critical care to intensive care.”

Jensen beamed, “Seriously?” 

“Seriously. We’re not out of the woods yet but he’s doing excellently.” Kim moved to hug him, “He’s doing great.” 

“God, Kim, thank you.” 

“I’ll have the first rounds of RAST tests back in about thirty-six hours.” 

Jensen let go of him, “Okay, great. Would you mind telling the others?” Kim nodded and left.

He moved to the bed and his mom said, “I’m going to go out and get some of cereal.” 

She left him alone with Ma and she smiled at him, “Each step makes it a little easier to breathe.” He nodded. “He looks so much like Tricia.” She was holding her daughter’s lion.

“Sometimes he makes me miss her more. But… Going from critical to intensive in under twenty-four hours is pretty amazing.”

Then out of the blue Ma said, “Jared’s nice. It’s good to see you with someone.” 

Jensen nodded, “I know, Nancy, I know. Everyone’s been saying it. He makes me happy.” 

Jared sighed, “That’s a great thing to wake up to.” 

Jensen said, “You’ve only been asleep for an hour.”

Sitting up Jared stretched, “I’m okay. How’s Jamie?”

“Officially not critical. He’s doing well. You can go back to sleep if you like.”

Jared rubbed his eyes, “I’m good.”

Kim popped his head in the door. “As Jamie is off the critical list I’ve asked your family to come in and say their goodbyes. They should go home and get back to their jobs.”

“Jobs! Oh God, I need to call work,” said Jensen, looking for his cell phone.

But Jared said, “Annie already called them. They’ve gotten a sub for the rest of the year. Sandy’s been calling but I told her that she needs to chill because we’ll do the barbeque once we’re out of here and Jamie’s up to it. I’ve already canceled Iron Chef. We’re fine, don’t worry about work.” 

Jensen nodded and Kim said, “Josh is here and he’s showering. I’m going to start Jamie’s TPN.”

“Okay, that sounds good. The fewer needles that go into him when he’s awake the better.” 

Jared stood, “I’m going to take a shower so that someone else can come in.”

~~~

The next twenty days were the most terrifying and longest days of Jared’s life. 

It was a constant parade of freshly showered friends and family and waiting. Chad came before going to the airport, everyone was coming. Jeff Morgan would stop by with that day’s homework every evening. But on day ten he said, “Here’s the last day of homework. Tomorrow’s the class party and it’s over.”

Jensen smiled tiredly, “I don’t think he could have caught up on much more work. Enjoy the zoo tomorrow, y’hear?”

“Yes sir, I’ll let you know how it goes.” 

Jared went back to the houses everyday to pick up the mail. At Jensen’s he would cook them food while Jensen was giving Jamie bed baths. Jensen’s family was doing the shopping, leaving groceries for Jared. It was a relief as Jared didn’t want to shop for any of it alone, he didn’t trust himself. They waited on tenterhooks for the RAST test results and when they came in they were odd. Kim stood with a clip board full of paper and said, “Bad news: you have to cut sesame seed oil out of your diet.”

“Done,” said Jensen. 

“Now the good news. I like to run Jamie on a full spectrum, I don’t have enough blood for that yet, I’m going to need six more vials but that can wait. I always test the things he’s allergic to as my control group. But this time it was different. We’ve always spoken about the possibility of Jamie outgrowing his allergies. His blood results show that he is no longer allergic or sensitive to eggs.” 

“Seriously?” he was smiling and crying at the same time, beaming and crying. “What do we do next? I mean, where do we go from here? What does it mean?” 

“Next we do a skin test when he’s well enough to make sure the results are correct. Once you’ve lost an allergy it’s not coming back. So if we see that he’s really clear of it you can reintegrate eggs into your diet. He’s likely to be scared at first. I know he loves eggs but he might be frightened because he had such a bad reaction to it. But it’s a great form of protein and it will add something back to his restrictive diet.” Jensen was nodding and smiling the whole time. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, I don’t want you to think he’s going to be totally free of allergies but it’s a good sign.” 

“It’s great, it’s awesome!” responded Jensen, still having tears running down his face. “Even if that’s it, it’s still a huge, amazing change. And losing sesame seed oil is really a small price to pay.” 

Kim smiled, “I’m very pleased about these results.”

Jensen smiled and said, “I’m going to go call Annie!”

That day Jensen’s family went over to the house and cleaned out the kitchen, throwing away anything that had sesame seeds in it. Then they scrubbed his kitchen. Two days later Kim took two vials of blood for more RAST tests. Three days later he took two more vials. A day later Kim said, “He’s doing so well. His swelling has gone down, so much so, that I am willing to remove his breathing tube. I think it’s best to have him wake up with a sore throat.” 

Every bit of news made Jensen smile a little brighter. After Jamie was given an oxygen mask Jensen said, “Can I pick him up?” Kim nodded and Jensen picked up Jamie, careful of all of his tubes and wires, and sat down in the chair. Kim left without saying anything.

Jensen breathed out so slowly, “God that feels good.” He held Jamie very close, keeping his head still. He kissed Jamie’s face gently, “This is huge.” Jared made up the bed and gave Jensen some privacy as the man quietly cried tears of relief or joy. The bed was now made up with Mickey Mouse bed sheets but Jensen made no move to put Jamie back on the bed. “Jay?” he asked without looking up. “Would you please call Annie?” 

“Of course I will.” Jared left and made the call. Jared could hear the smile in her voice. She assured him she would call everyone else. 

Jensen held Jamie in his arms for the rest of the day and most of the next. None of the visitor asked to hold Jamie but late at night, when Jensen needed to get a few hours of sleep, he would hand Jamie off to Jared. The first night he said, “I don’t want him to be put down. I’m never sure if he knows he’s being held. He wakes up too groggy but maybe, you know, he knows right now. Today makes this officially the longest he’s ever been unconscious, today was the summer recital. I want someone to hold him.” 

“I’d love to hold him,” Jared took Jamie from him. It was comforting to hold him and feel that he was warm and breathing. 

A couple days later Kim took two more vials of blood. “That’s the last blood I need.”

It was four more days before Jamie made a little whining noise and turned his head, blinking slowly. Jensen was showering and Jared was holding him. “Hi, sweetheart,” he said softly, “Daddy’s going to be back soon. How do you feel?” Jamie slowly shook his head. Jamie reached for his mask but Jared gently pulled his hand away. “Let’s leave that for Dr. Manners. Okay?” He hit the button that paged the nurses. Jamie started to cry and Jared kissed his forehead, “I’m sorry, Daddy will be back really soon.” Jamie cuddled into him as Kim came into the room. “Here’s Dr. Manners.” 

“Don’ wanna give blood,” his voice was muffled behind the mask and his words were slurred. He buried his face in Jared’s chest. 

“No,” said Jared rubbing his back, “Dr. Manners did all your tests while you were asleep. No more blood.”

“I hurt,” said Jamie, still with his face buried in Jared chest. He cuddled closer. “My froat’s all sore.”

Jared looked at Kim, “Can we take off his mask to let him have some water?” Kim poured him a glass as Jared removed the mask. He helped Jamie with the glass. “Dr. Manners had to put a tube in your chest to help you breathe. That’s why your throat hurts.” Jamie took little sips. 

“How long?” asked Jamie.

Jensen walked in, “Baby! You’re awake.”

Jamie looked at him, “How long I asleep?”

“Twenty days,” said Jensen, “it was a really long time.” 

“I hurt,” said Jamie as he put his arms out for Jensen. Kim reached out and replaced the mask over Jamie’s nose and mouth.

Jensen picked him up and moved to sit on Jamie’s bed. “I bet you do. It was really rough.” 

Jamie was touching his arm, “Can I take IV out?” 

“No, baby, leave it alone. It’s feeding you.”

Jamie rubbed his face against Jensen’s shoulder. “Daddy, I don’t feel good,” Jamie said, “I wanna go home.”

“I know, baby. We can’t do that yet. You’re too sick.” 

“I want the little mask,” said Jamie. 

“I bet Dr. Manners can help with that.” Jensen motioned for Kim who got a smaller tube and attached it to the oxygen and removed the mask from Jamie’s head and taped the tube under Jamie’s nose. “That’s better, isn’t it?” Jamie nodded. “What hurts?”

“My body and my head and I’m wearing a diaper. I’m not a baby.” 

“I know, baby. We didn’t want to put in a catheter. We can take that off now.” 

The next hour was spent getting Jamie comfortable. Jamie cried and cuddled with anyone who touched him, his dad, Jared and any nurses. However, he flinched from Kim until Jensen assured him that Kim wasn’t going to take any more blood. He got changed out of the diaper and into regular underwear and was given IV pain medication that wouldn’t upset his breathing or heart. Jensen explained his test results and the need to do a skin test on Jamie for eggs and that they couldn’t have sesame seed oil again more. Jamie was excited at the idea of being allowed to eat eggs and not very upset about the sesame seed oil. 

For the rest of the day Jamie drifted in and out of sleep. He took a few labored steps, holding Jensen’s hands to the bathroom and Kim smiled and said, “Kids bounce back, give it a couple of weeks and you can have that barbeque.” 

Jensen had already talked to Kim about the barbeque days before, asked if it was going to be possible to have it at all. He had also apologized for not inviting Kim but the man shook his head. He’d said, “Jensen, I’m his doctor. We like each other but if any of us had a choice we would gladly never see each other again. I shouldn’t come, he’s anxious around me. I’m the guy with the needles.”

Now Jamie was cuddling with his Daddy eating some Jell-O. “Good?” asked Jensen.

Jamie said, “Yeah. It’s lemon flavored. When I can I have real food?”

“When Dr. Manner says it’s okay. You’ve been on TPN for a long time so your stomach needs time to get used to food again. Right now you can have Jell-O and later you can have some milk and we’ll add stuff little by little until you’re healthy and get to come home.”

“Are you gonna eat?”

“Not in front of you,” said Jensen. “Jared and I won’t taunt you.” Jamie ate his Jell-O and fell asleep again. “Jay?” He whispered, “I spoke to the grandparents and everyone, said he’s awake but not up to company. But Annie’s coming soon, she’ll go home really late and eat something because she’s coming from work and hates eating right after work. Would you please go home and cook something for you and me? That way she’ll be here with him while we eat.”

Jared nodded, kissed him and left. Over the long days the paparazzi had lost interest. Selena Gomez had fallen over drunk while not wearing underwear and now all the Texan paparazzi were hounding her mother about it. He drove to the house and made them a quick beef stew thing, it wasn’t very summery, it wasn’t very fancy all it was was tasty. He made rice and packed everything up. Back at the hospital Jamie was awake and cuddling with Annie. Jared motioned through the window and Jensen came out. 

“How is he?” asked Jared as he unpacked the food.

“He’s okay. I want to eat fast though, he still feels sick and needs company.” He started to eat and said, “This is great, thank you. I always feel a little guilty eating when he can’t. It feels like a betrayal.” He fell silent as he ate. “I love comfort food.” 

The next few weeks were spent cuddling with Jamie. He did his homework, he slowly was reintroduced to food, Jared got the new season of Dinner for Two, which wasn’t supposed to air until September, for Jamie to watch. When Jamie was getting his skin test done he wasn’t allowed to itch his arm and it was driving him crazy. Jared called Bobby Flay and asked if he would let Jamie watch Throwdown with Bobby Flay. He explained about Jamie’s allergies and how Jamie was in the hospital indefinitely. Bobby sent the rough cuts to the Texas office and Jared went in to talk to Sandy about the Family Barbeque. 

Once Jamie had finished his homework he watched all of the Throwdowns and Dinner for Twos. Jensen brought his laptop so that Jamie could write Bobby a thank you note he also brought a small electric keyboard and Jamie played it a lot. He got stronger and stopped needing help to walk and they walked around the hospital a lot and went to the dayroom to play with the toys and puzzles there. But a lot of the time Jamie was still tired and sad and just snuggled with his visitors.

The skin tests showed that Jamie could eat as many eggs as he liked and he had scrambled eggs for the first time in over years two years. Jamie wasn’t freaked out like Kim had thought he would be; he was excited. Forty-three days after the ill-fated Bring a Parent to School meal, Jamie was allowed to come home. 

That night Jensen grabbed Jared and kissed him hard, “I have missed your body. Forty-three days is a really long time to go without when you’ve gotten used to getting laid every day. I want it hard and I want a marathon. Can we do that? We can take breaks for snacks and everything.”

“That sounds fantastic.” Jared dragged him to the bedroom, leaving his recently collected dogs in the living room. He stripped Jensen, herding him onto the bed. “Missed seeing you naked. You are so gorgeous.” Dropping to his knees next to the bed he said, “I’m young enough to not need cushioning for my knees.” He sucked Jensen to hardness. Jensen was moaning loudly and stroking Jared’s hair. Jared pulled back and said, “How many times can you come tonight?” 

“Lots, it’s all pent up, keep going.” So Jared swallowed him again, sucking hard and massaging his balls. Jensen moaned, “You are so good at that. You could put it on your résumé.” He came with a gargled groan. He pulled Jared up as he slipped from Jared’s mouth and sucked Jared’s tongue into his own mouth. Jensen panted, “I love the taste of me on you.” 

“On your back. Love it when you’re stretched out under me. Love having you pant against my shoulder.” Jensen scooted back on the bed. His eyes, which were glazed from coming, cleared as Jared stripped.

He knelt over Jensen and kissed his way up his body. Jensen was playing with his hair. Jared leaned away to grab lube and condoms. He started to stretch Jensen slowly. And Jensen said, “I want it hard, I really trust you for hard and good.” 

The words warmed Jared and he said, “I know, you’ll get that at some point in the night but I need to warm you up if you want a marathon.” Jensen was shaking and Jared felt him become loose enough for Jared to enter him slowly. Jensen scrambled for a purchase on Jared but instead just scratched down his back. The feeling spurred Jared on. Jared kissed him licking his way into Jensen’s hot mouth. “You are even more sexy when you lose it.” Jensen was panting against his shoulder, the way that Jared liked. Within a few minutes he came, feeling relieved at the release. He collapse on Jensen’s chest and said, “You feel gorgeous.” He stroked his hands up and down Jensen’s flanks and said, “Snack?”

“Just wine.”

“Red or white?”

“Surprise me.” 

Jared slowly moved off Jensen. He threw away the condom and grabbed his dirty tee shirt off the floor. He wiped the off his dick and stepped into PJs. He went and grabbed two glasses and an open bottle of white out of the fridge. Heading back to bed, he saw the Jensen was stretched out and he feasted on the view. “Pretty.” He passed off a glass and filled them both. “To being home.” They tapped glasses and took their first sips. Jared took off his pants and climbed back into bed. While they drank they caressed each others’ bodies. It was comfortable and Jared moved to sit behind Jensen and pulled the man back against his chest. He played with Jensen, making him hard. Kissing from Jensen’s neck to his ear Jared asked, “What do you want next?” He took the last sip of his wine and put the glass aside.

“Give me a few minutes, then I’m taking you,” Jensen panted as Jared played with his nipples. “Feels so good.” 

“Yes, you do,” agreed Jared and Jensen chuckled. 

Jensen finished his wine and put the glass down on the bedside table. He turned and then pulled Jared down the bed. “I know how much you like getting manhandled,” he said, stroking Jared’s shoulders. 

He stretched Jared open with four fingers. Jared was writhing and he knew he was talking but he didn’t know what he was saying. It must have been funny because Jensen was laughing. He didn’t care because it felt so good. Jensen turned them so that Jared was in his lap and he pounded into his body. Jared grabbed his shoulders for leverage. He lost all concept of time except that it went on forever. Jensen made him come with his clever hands and Jared moved with Jensen until he came. 

Slumping down into the bed Jensen ran his hands up and down Jared’s back. “I know you’ve got your sex endorphins but just lie with me for a little while.” Jensen moved away to throw away the condom and then drew Jared down, “Wake me up when you’re ready to go again.” 

Jared gave him a half hour before kissing him awake. Jensen writhed, “Hi, that’s nice.” Jensen held him close. Jared started to finger him and Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared. “Harder this time?” 

Jared nodded and kissed him. It was awesome that Jensen trusted him like this. He was faster this time, a little rougher, a little more possessive. But while sex was more forceful this time he kissed Jensen everywhere he could reach and held him so close that it made Jared feel like they couldn’t be any closer without being one person. Jensen pulled Jared to kiss him on the mouth. “Like it?” asked Jared. Jensen made a happy noise. “Good.” Jared rubbed Jensen into coming and quickly followed him. He relaxed against Jensen and then said, “Snack?”

“Yes please.” Jared detangled their limbs, threw away the condom and went into the bathroom and ran a wet washcloth over his abdomen. He rewet it and went to the bed and washed Jensen. 

He brought Jensen his pants, pulled on his own and said, “I’ll be right back. Pour us another glass of wine.” The first thing Jensen had done when they’d come home was make Jamie a cake to celebrate getting out of the hospital. The cake had eggs and was delicious. Jared cut them a large slice and grabbed two forks. Coming back he said, “I really love this cake.”

“Never thought I’d make a cake with eggs ever again.” Jensen smiled and they ate the slice together. The next morning Jared woke up and made them all eggs Benedict. Over the coming weeks they ate a lot of eggs: scrambled, boiled (both hard and soft), poached, fried and over easy. They set a date for the barbeque and pretty much everyone said they would be there. 

~~~

Jensen called his agent and started fielding movie offers. He didn’t like any of them. It wasn’t so much the movies themselves, it was the way he was being asked. They were proposed with how much they would pay him, how long they would give him, how much time he had to spend in LA, the feeling they wanted and how many songs with lyrics they wanted. They were impersonal and made Jensen feel apathetic. 

One morning he was cleaning up the kitchen, Jamie was out in the yard, playing with his cousins and Mary’s new dog. Sadie and Harley were playing with the puppy nicely. The cover was on the pool because Jensen didn’t like it to be open when there were lots of kids around without sufficient adult supervision. Jared was at JT’s cooking and Jensen was enjoying the quiet.

The phone rang and he answered it with a, “Hello.”

“Jenny-boy, how are you?” 

Jensen smiled at the voice of Jim Cameron, “Jim, my momma gave me a boy’s name for a reason. I’m doing pretty well. How are you?”

“Great. How’s Jamie? I know he was in the hospital for a long time.”

“Yeah, he has developed a new allergy. Thankfully it’s only sesame seed oil. That can be cut out so easily. If it were beef or something we’d be screwed. How are the kids?” 

They talked for the next hour and a half, filling each other in on their kids and lives. Jensen said how awesome Avatar was and Jim said, “You are a hard man to find. I called Jessica who only had your cell phone and I didn’t want to call that because I never pick up my cell phone if I don’t recognize the number. I had to call Michael who was like, ‘I’m in the middle of shooting and Mark Harmon is glaring at me.’ He had your number.”

“I love NCIS.”

“Me too. I’m sorry I can’t come to your barbeque, I’m on location.”

“I totally understand.”

“I have to let my DP have it off though. We’re going to do rehearsals that day.”

“Oh is it Chad?”

“Yup, he said that Jared’s his best friend and that he would get on his knees if he had to. I wasn’t sure if he meant a blow job or groveling but obviously I let him have it off.”

Jensen laughed, “Thank you.”

Jim started talking about his movie, a movie about a submarine in the distant future piloted by aliens.

Jensen felt himself smiling and said, “Sounds awesome.”

“I hope so. It’s getting back to basics. I loved shooting Avatar and I’m using the technology to do Battle Angel but this has sets, animatronics and make up. It’s pretty cool. So would you be interested?”

“I’m sure I’ll go see it. If it isn’t scary I’ll take Jamie.”

“I meant scoring it, actually. I heard you were open for business.” 

“Oh wow, I’ve always loved working with you. I mean, Titanic was my first movie and Dark Angel was one of my favorites. I would love to. So what are you looking for?”

“Well, if I knew I would do it myself. Or I would hire someone who wasn’t you and wasn’t half as expensive. I want you to look at it and decide what to do. You have a great ear and a great style.”

“Tone? Songs with lyrics?”

“You have a look at it, I’ll email you the dailies and we can talk about it once you’ve watched them and if you decide it’s a project you want to work on. We can do money then too. I know it’s the summer and you want to be with Jamie so you can work from home. So maybe a week in California to record and conduct an orchestra?”

“Awesome. If you send them today I’ll start watching them this evening. Is it scary or can Jamie watch it? How much swearing is there?”

“The word bastard is used three times, once in the dailies so far. It’s not scary really, the bad guys are a little campy and fun. I think Jamie can watch it.”

“Cool. Send it when you get a chance.”

“Great, I’ll send them now. Thanks, Jen.”

“No, thank you. You’re the first director who has spoken to me like it would be more than just a clinical job.”

“Well, I’ve been working with you since you were sixteen. It’s more than just a job.”

They hung up and Jensen headed out to the yard to play with the kids. They had fried rice with eggs and beef. Later Linda came over to pick up Marky and Mary. Jensen and Jamie went swimming to escape the heat of the day. They played with toys and floated on rafts with the dogs swimming around them. They played the piano for four hours, laughing and singing and having fun. Jensen made them burgers with wet fried eggs on top and fries for dinner. It was summer and Jensen never gave Jamie a bedtime during the summer. They ate on the couch and started watching the dailies. It was a fun movie, very cool. 

Jamie asked him what they were watching and Jensen said, “The guy who directed Avatar is a very old friend of mine. I made Titanic and Dark Angel with him. This is his new movie and I’m going to write all the music for it. Pretty cool, right?” 

“Are you excited?”

“Very, I really like Jim and I love writing music.” 

Jensen made them homemade popcorn while Jamie put on his PJs and they watched more of the dallies. Jared came in at ten thirty, clearly recently showered. He sat next to Jamie. “What are you two watching?” 

Jensen paused it, “These are dallies from Jim Cameron’s new movie. I’m scoring it.”

Beaming Jared said, “That is so cool.” 

“How was work?”

“Awesome. Except that three idiots ordered their meat well done. They weren’t kids, kids can be forgiven. I went home and showered. I have to get up at four to go to the fish market with Paris.” 

“That’s really early,” said Jamie. 

“I know,” agreed Jared.

“But it’s kind of fun,” said Jared. “It’s nice to be awake when everyone is asleep and it’s not too, too hot yet. I get to hang out with Paris and drink our coffee and pick out the fish we’re going to serve.”

They ate the popcorn and watched the rest of dallies until eleven thirty and then Jensen said, “Well we all need to go to bed so that Jared can get up so early.” 

Jamie brushed his teeth, fell into bed and promptly fell asleep. Jensen brought Jared to bed and kissed him slowly. “Go to sleep you need to get up super early.” But as they curled up together Jensen said, “I called a builder. He’s coming tomorrow to see about putting a shower into the garage.” 

“I’m really pleased that you found a film to work on.” Jared curled into him. He slid a hand under Jensen’s t-shirt, resting his hand over Jensen’s heart. “Sleep well.” 

He felt Jamie and the dogs climb into bed, he patted the bed behind him and felt that it was empty. He pulled Jamie close and went back to sleep. He woke up at nine and got up to have coffee. He fed the dogs and let them out into the yard. He called Jim while he had a quiet moment. Jim picked up saying, “Jen, did you watch it already?” 

“We had a marathon on the couch last night. It’s so much fun and it is something I can watch Jamie. I would love to work with you. It would be great.”

“Okay well, I will start sending you finished scenes. We’ll take it from there. Five hundred thousand? I’ll send you a contract via courier. Will you be at home tomorrow?”

“Five hundred thousand sounds great and I’ll be in all day. Can I have personal distribution rights?” He always asked for that in his contract. He wanted to make sure he could play them wherever and whenever he liked.

“Of course, that’s always been your thing and I agree.” Jensen could hear the smile in Jim’s voice. “I am so excited. I’ll start sending you cut scenes but, obviously, you can’t really score anything until you’ve seen it totally. We’re still shooting, we have twenty-two days left but within thirty-five days we’ll have a rough cut. Right now I just would like it if you watched the dailies to get the right feel.”

“Sure. That sounds perfect. Jamie was watching with me but usually he goes to bed around nine so I have all evening.”

“Perfect. I’ll send you the stuff we have finished now, you can get started when you like.”

“Jim? This is awesome. I’m so pleased to be working with you. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt like composing and working with you has always been fun.” 

“Tricia was a really wonderful woman and I think she’d be pleased that you’re having fun again.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s time to get back to my real life.” Jamie came in looking half awake. “Oh, the sleepy boy is up. I’m going to make breakfast and I’ll send you the contract back tomorrow.” Jensen hung up and smiled, “Morning, baby. Sick of eggs yet?” 

“Nope, still loving them.” So Jensen made them a ham and cheese omelet. Jamie dug into it with relish. 

Once they finished Jensen asked, “Want to play the piano?”

“I want to practice all of our friends’ music so that I can play them at the party.”

Jensen smiled, “That sounds really fun.” They got dressed and played the piano for two hours before Jared came in mid morning and took the dogs for a run. He smiled at them as he came in and Jensen said, “Shouldn’t you be cooking for strangers?”

“No, I’m on dinner duty I have to be back at five. I’m going to shower and take a nap.” Once he had gone into the bathroom, Jensen and Jamie went back to playing. Then the builder came. Jamie stayed where he was, practicing the songs and singing.

Jensen showed him the area where he wanted the shower in the climate controlled garage and showed him how large he wanted it. The man quoted him a price which seemed reasonable and said he would draw up some plans. The plan was to start after the barbeque.

When the man was done Jensen made them all sandwiches for lunch that didn’t have eggs. Jared ate with them, it was his dinner and he said goodnight to Jamie. Jensen told Jamie that he was going to be working from home and that he was going to be a bit busier. Then he and Jamie went down to jump on the trampoline. After a little while Jamie said, “Can we go back to playing music or were you bored?”

“No, let’s go back to the music.” They headed upstairs and Jensen tuned his violin. His violin was a Michael Rhonheimer made specifically for him. Outside of the house and Jamie’s medical care she was the largest investment Jensen had ever made. The sound was achingly beautiful and Rhonheimer’s violins beat a Stradivarius in a recent study and Jensen wasn’t surprised. Although she’d been given the name Opus 29 he called her Katja. There was some argument as to whether or not instruments should be named. Tricia had always said it was creepy that he named them and referred to them by female pronouns but Jensen felt that it was right. Katja had been made with Francis Schwarze’s fungus-treated wood and fashioned by Rhonheimer himself. She wasn’t just an object, she wasn’t utilitarian, she was art. And art deserved a name. 

As Jensen tuned her he said to Jamie, “If you can get these songs down really well, well enough to do them with everyone then I can play the violin. Does that sound fun?”

Jamie bounced on the bench, “Really?” 

“Yeah, but we’ll have to practice a lot because we want to sound great, right?” 

Jamie nodded. “Can we use the metronome at first?” 

“Sure if that would help.” Jensen set up the electronic metronome. And as he finished tuning his violin he said, “Okay, what do you want to play?”

“I want to start with LeAnn. I want to do How Do I Live, can we do that?” 

“Of course.” Jamie set up his sheet music. “You count off.”

“Okay, start on five. One, two, three, four,” They began together. It was good, but not great. Jensen pointed out a few changes to Jamie and they played it twice more before moving on to Can’t Fight the Moonlight. It was good to play his violin just for fun. They went through all of LeAnn’s hits before dinner and bath time. Jensen’s fingers hurt and he figured if he practiced enough he would get his calluses back before the barbeque. After the bath Jensen said, “Let’s watch a little TV to calm down after all the fun music.” 

They watched some stupid thing on the Disney Channel with singing puppets. Jamie liked it and Jensen liked having Jamie so close. He was still freaked out by how long Jamie had been in the hospital. Forty-three days was the new record for one of Jamie’s hospital stays. Every time it happened Jensen got a little more scared. It was nine, Jamie kept nodding off and Jensen said, “You ready for bed? It’s late and we had a really late night last night.”

“Are you going to do some work for your movie?” asked Jamie rousing himself a little. 

“Yeah, that’s my plan.” 

Jamie nodded and hugged Jensen, “I’m tired.” 

Picking Jamie up Jensen said, “It’s been a nice day, hasn’t it?”

“I love the piano.”

“Me too,” Jensen rubbed his back. In his bedroom he tucked Jamie in with the lion. “Music?”

“The concert in New York, please.” 

Jensen put on the CD and kissed Jamie goodnight, “Sleep well, baby. I love you.” 

Jamie hugged him back. In the living room Jensen put on his laptop watching the scenes in order. He plucked his violin as he watched, adding soft music under the scenes, he already had a feel for the film. He opened up his composing software and played the music for one scene into the microphone. The software recorded it and transcribed it as sheet music. He emailed it to Jim with a note that said, “Hey Jim, Just a rough idea for the third scene. I’m not sure the tone is right as I haven’t seen the whole yet. I’ll let you know when I get the contract. Have a good night, Jensen”

He cleaned up the kitchen. Jared came in with a smile, clearly recently showered. Jensen kissed him and said, “The builder came. We should have the shower built within three months. You should probably put your house on the market.”

Jared beamed at him, “Seriously?”

“We got through a hospital stay. I think we’re good.”

Jared was still smiling, “I don’t have to get up tomorrow, Elisha and Paris and doing it. Take me to bed?” 

“Yeah. Just let me check my email. Jim Cameron might have emailed me. I did a preliminary treatment of a scene.” Jared kissed his neck as Jensen checked his email. 

With a laugh Jared read it aloud, “Jen, your rough idea is better than most people’s magnum opus. Let me know once you’ve signed the contract. With love and respect, Jim.” He paused and said, “Aww, he loves you.”

“I’ve known Jim since I was sixteen, he does love me. But he’s also lying.” He hit reply and typed, “LOL, there’s no need to play to my self-esteem. I’ve already jumped on the bandwagon! There’s no need to BS me. My ego is nowhere near as fragile as it was when I was sixteen or as large as it was when I was nineteen. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

They went to bed and made love. Jensen felt blessed, that they could be both rough and gentle and have all of it be perfect. The next couple of weeks flew by mostly because they were so much fun. He received his contract, read it carefully, signed it and sent it back. They planned for the barbeque, he and Jamie practiced all the time, for at least five hours a day. As long as Jamie was enjoying it they didn’t stop. Jamie had play dates and went swimming a lot. 

Jensen placed an order for a gross of tie-dyed bandanas, a box of flashlights, a box of sticky lizards, assorted small stuffed toys, friendship bracelets, bottles of bubbles and sheriff badges. He needed the bandanas and flashlights for Texan Manhunt and the toys for the goody bags. Because there were eleven kids coming and they needed goody bags. He knew that a lot of the adults would get in on the Texan Manhunt because it was fun. Then he got a piñata and bouncy balls, glow bracelets, fake tattoos, little slinkies and water guns shaped like sharks to fill it with. He bought the booze and the mixers and figured he’d done as much as he could so far in advance of the party. 

Jared made sure he was always on shift for Friday date nights which were mostly spent with the grandparents. On Saturdays Jensen and Jared would go out to dinner, shower at Jared’s and come home. Friends were over most every other night of the week. All the musical ones were practicing their songs. They couldn’t play anything that wasn’t theirs while the cameras were on because they didn’t have distribution rights and the Food Network would have to edit them out but the group had a huge collective discography to work from. Jamie played with them and was very ready for his musical debut. 

About a week before the party people started pouring in from out of town. Every night was party night and it was great. He watched Jamie get more and more comfortable around their friends. People were distributed among houses, no one was in a hotel. It made Jensen laugh that Katie Holmes and Michelle Williams were sharing Tricia’s bed with their beautiful girls were both in cots next to them. It was like old times, long before they were famous. Every morning they would stumble out of bed and drink coffee before the kids were up. Jared was usually at the market but Jensen would sit with Katie, Michelle, James Marsters, Michael Weatherly and Jessica Alba would drink their coffee together. 

It made sense to have everyone with kids in one place. The five adults were in the four spare bedrooms and it was nice to have his friends around. The only person from out of town who wasn’t in the house was James Van Der Beek. But he was probably grateful to not be in a house teeming with five kids. And, as he was staying with Steve and Chris, he was probably stoned out of his skull. 

One morning Michelle said, “All the tabloids said you had a silent birth.” 

Katie looked slightly defensive, “You’re not going to start in on Scientology are you? If this is an intervention I’m going to be really irritated.”

“No. I’m just saying: how the hell did you do that? I mean, I had drugs and was still screaming.” 

“Amelia bit me,” said Michael. “She said I was getting too close.”

Jensen laughed, “Tricia kept saying, ‘You did this to me,’ like I was injuring her.”

Jessica shook her head, “Epidural all the way.”

James said, “No, Liane said she was doing it without drugs and once her water broke, before we got to the hospital, she was screaming for drugs.” 

That made Katie relax. “It’s not silent, it’s quiet. You can’t speak but you know, it wasn’t really that silent. I was quiet but I couldn’t help but make some noise. I think poor Tom made more noise mostly because I was squeezing his hand so hard. Publicly I said that I totally converted to Scientology. Just because it was getting so much shit but… here’s a secret,” she laughed, “Tom and I privately had her baptized. I’m a Roman Catholic I couldn’t not have her baptized and nowhere in Scientology does it say you can’t have two religions. Roman Catholic is my faith Scientology is my belief. But I already told Tom, next time I’m having an epidural.” Everyone laughed again and it was so easy to hang out with them like they were kids again. 

Jared’s parents and siblings came over. Jeff’s kids Eric and Kurt became instantly best friends with Jamie. They were ten and eight. The ages of the kids actually worked out. Michael’s son, August, was fourteen so was James’ son Sullivan. Being fourteen made them celebrities with the little kids. They were crashing in Jamie’s room with Jamie. Then Eric was ten, Kurt was eight, Marky was seven, Tim and Jamie were six, Mary and Mattie were five, Suri was four and Jessica’s daughter, Honor, was two and a half. It worked out so that everyone would have a friend. Last time Jensen had seen Honor she’d been a tiny baby now she was a little girl who only wanted to wear pink. 

A few days before the party all the people who were cooking went shopping together. The Food Network covered it all. And it was decided that everyone who was cooking was going to do it in Jensen’s kitchen as Jamie’s allergies were so bad. Every night was a party. After the kids went to bed they played a game called, “To drive or not to drive.” It involved shots and Jensen’s breathalyzer. It was hilarious but a couple of people always opted out, sighting that someone needed to be able to drive. Mike came to the house with two camera guys and a makeup girl. It was midmorning three days before the barbeque. He said, “We want to do something fast just to kick off the show about how you and Jared got together.” Everyone was out in the yard. Jared and Jensen were at the table with Michelle and James everybody else was in the pool. 

They went inside and shut the door. They had their makeup done as the camera guys set up lights. “Usually we don’t bother with makeup on Dinner for Two,” said Mike. “But we always do it for people cooking on the Family Barbeque.” 

“Jared has makeup on during Dinner for Two,” said Jensen.

“That’s because Jared’s vain.”

They sat at the table as the cameras were turned on, “So what are we talking about?” 

“How you guys got together.” 

“Okay, I’ll start, Jared chime in when you like.” Jared nodded. Jensen looked into the camera and said, “Hey everyone at home.”

Jared said, “Why do you and Jamie always make fun of my catchphrase?”

“Mostly because you have a catchphrase,” said Jensen. Turning back to the camera he said, “I’m Jensen Ackles and this is Jared Padalecki and this is the Family Barbeque. We met a while back. I was shopping and Jared accosted me in the supermarket. He was very adamant that he was coming home to cook for me and Jamie. I didn’t like the idea because my son Jamie has really bad food allergies.”

Jared interrupted, “At the time I thought Jamie was Jensen’s boyfriend. Which I didn’t really like because Jensen’s hot. But I could cook for a gay couple; it still fit the Dinner for Two niche. I didn’t realize Jamie was a kid because Jensen referred to him as ‘my Jamie’. I had no idea who Jensen was; I didn’t even know that my favorite Christmas CD was his and Tricia’s. I’m a pretty vain person and I forget that I’m not the center of the universe so when I met him I had no idea that he was – or rather is — the third ranked living concert pianist on Earth, a huge teen idol, and the guy who scored so many awesome movies.”

With a laugh Jensen said, “You are pretty oblivious to the world.” Then he spoke to the camera. “I didn’t really like the idea of him coming because Jamie’s allergies are really bad. But Jamie loves the Food Network; I think it’s because of all of his allergies. He likes watching people eat stuff he can’t. And his favorite show is Dinner for Two with the Gallivanting Gourmet. We always referred to Jared as TV’s Chef Jared. So I vetted everything he bought very carefully and let him come cook for us.”

“So I got here and realized that Jamie was a totally adorable six year-old. And I was like, ‘Awesome I can totally hit on Jensen.’”

“Which he did and I did not like. He was saying that he would come cook with Jamie regularly and I knew that it was getting Jamie’s hopes up. I mean, here’s his favorite celebrity being nice to him. And I knew Jared was trying to get to me through Jamie. I didn’t really take Jared seriously and didn’t want Jamie getting upset when it ended.”

Jared smiled, “So then Jamie goes to bed. I stay for a glass of wine and continue to hit on Jensen. At that point Jensen told me where I could get off and accused me of having capped teeth.”

“You should take it as a compliment. Your teeth look too nice to be real. Anyway, the episode will never be shown because it’s pretty obvious that I don’t want Jared in my house and he made really gross cheesy rice because vegan cheese is very difficult to work with.”

“Then I came to drop off the episode as a gift for Jamie and Jamie thankfully gave me an in and invited me to cook with him and Jensen. So I came, learned about vegan cheese, ate dinner and asked Jensen to go on a not date. I asked him to meet me at a restaurant, pay for himself, shower at my place and come home knowing he wasn’t bringing anything into the house. It was a ‘just friends’ move.”

“And me, I’m a great cook but sometimes I want seafood so I went. It was secretly a date. I hadn’t really dated anyone since my wife died. My wife was a lesbian, we were best friends and we got married to have kids and give them a really stable home life. We wouldn’t have joint custody, or one weekend with me and one with her because we were platonically together and always at home. When she died and I had Jamie all by myself I was a little overwhelmed, especially because of his allergies and I just stopped. My family was amazing, my sister-in-law was always here and everyone was always helping but I just stopped. I stopped composing, stopped dating, stopped hanging out with my friends. Then Jared and I started to not date and I remembered how good it could be.”

“To not date?” asked Jared with a smirk.

With a shrug Jensen said, “We were secretly dating. We just didn’t call it that because I was skittish. So then Jared asked me to meet his friends at a barbeque and I was worried because I wanted to like them but you never know until you’ve met them. You really want to like the people who are important to your boyfriend.”

“And I was really worried because my friends are a little crazy and over the top.” 

Jensen smiled, “So we go to a barbeque and my roommate from college, Tom, opens the door and quickly assures me that Jared did not ambush me. It turns out that all the friends Jared made since moving back to Texas are the kids I grew up with. When I met Tom he became friends with all of my friends. Then Tom started dating Jared’s friend Mike so Jared and his friends from college who moved down here made friends with Tom and all of my friends. The friends I was afraid of meeting, and Jared was afraid of me disliking, turned out to be the people I’ve known forever.”

“Yeah, I only have seven friends who didn’t already belong to Jensen. Then Jamie wanted me to cook for his class and I was nervous, not really about the cooking but because Jamie goes to a school with a lot of photographers are outside. I’ve never been out, I mean all my friends and family knew I was gay, but it’s never been common knowledge. I talked to my boss and best friend from childhood, Sandy, and she said, ‘Why don’t we preempt any scandal by announcing that you’re doing the Family Barbeque together?’ So we thought, ‘As all of our friends are joint friends and pretty much family let’s have a really big party.’ And that’s what we’re doing; we have fifty-four people coming.”

“But we had to put it off because when Jared went to cook for Jamie’s class Jamie had an allergic reaction. Jared followed all the directions perfectly; it was all completely safe for Jamie to eat. But Jamie develops allergies very quickly. We had cooked with sesame seed oil three days before but between then and school he developed an allergy. So he was in hospital for forty-three days which is terrifying: especially when he’s unconscious. He was out for the count for twenty days. When he regained consciousness he was really sick but Bobby Flay sent him the unaired Throwdowns for this coming season. Thanks for that, Bobby. Seriously, he was really excited. Right after Jared you’re his favorite and Jared only beats you because he’s from Texas. And Jamie’s no longer impressed by Jared because Jared cooks him breakfast and helps him find his shoes. He’s fine now: home, happy and back on his feet. He’s finally healthy again and ready for a big party.”

Jared smiled, “Plus, Kim Manners, Jamie’s awesome doctor did blood tests and found out that that Jamie is no longer allergic to eggs. Kids apparently can grow out of them. So we can easily cut out the sesame oil and eggs are so awesome.”

“We’ve been eating eggs all the time.”

Jared smiled brighter, “It’s been eggs breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

“We’re all pretty excited. Tofu scramble is good but it’s not eggs Benedict. Jared made us eggs Benedict the first morning we were home. It was fantastic. And we’re planning putting a shower in the garage so that Jared can sell his house. Right now Jared only ever goes home to shower after the restaurant. Plus we could do date night without needing to go to Jared’s place to shower.”

Jared nodded, “My dogs, computer and cell phone charger live here which basically amounts to me having moved in.”

“So that’s who we are and what we’re doing.” 

Jared picked, “The oddest thing is that usually on this show the Food Network person does most of the cooking but I’m still learning to cook for Jamie’s allergies, when I cook it’s always Jensen’s recipes. I think this will be the first of this series to have the chef not cook a single thing. This is our version of the Family Barbeque.” 

“Awesome,” said Mike. “That was great.” 

“You’re going to have to edit it down though,” said Jared. 

“Nope, Sandy’s cleared it: the episode is three hours long,” said Mike. “She saw the number of recipes and that they’re all being cooked by famous people and cleared it. I guess she figured that famous people cooking is more interesting then repeats of Unwrapped.” 

“That is so cool,” said Jensen. “Are you going to be directing all of this?”

Mike shook his head, “No, I want to be in on the party. I’ll just be doing this stuff, I’ll do all of the recipes but I’ll party at the party. I talked to everyone who is cooking and I have made a shooting schedule. People who are doing things that can be made in advance are starting today.”

“Wow, efficient,” said Jensen.

Mike shrugged, “I might be half crazy but I’m really good at my job.” He handed Jensen a stack of papers, “Pass these out amongst your selves. LeAnn is actually going today. In fact,” he opened the door, LeAnn was in the pool, “LeAnn, are you ready to shoot?” 

“Let me get dressed!” she called back. She climbed out of the pool. 

Jamie came to her and asked, “Can I cook with you?”

She nodded, “Of course.”

They both went to get dressed. Jamie came back in shorts and a tee-shirt that said, “Piano is my life.” 

LeAnn came in wearing a pretty sundress and sandals. Her hair had been up in a bun in the pool and was still dry, “That’s a cool shirt, Jamie.” The makeup artist started to do her face.

Jamie smiled, “Jared’s friend Chad could only visit me once in hospital because he had to be on location, shooting a movie. But he made this and sent it to me.”

“Chad made me a cool one about psoriasis.”

“What’s that?” The makeup artist moved to him and Jamie stood very still as she worked.

“It’s a disease. It’s not contagious or anything, but I covered it up for years because it’s ugly and some people think it’s leprosy. I got sick of covering it up so I started a campaign about not being ashamed.” 

“So what does your shirt say?”

“It says ‘I Suffer from the Heartbreak of Psoriasis’ it’s really cute.” She started getting out ingredients. She turned to Mike now that she and Jamie were fully made up. “Ready when you are.” Mike did a countdown only with his hand and LeAnn said, “Hi, I’m LeAnn Rimes. I’m cooking today with Jensen and Jamie Ackles. We’re making homemade chips. This is really fun. But we’re doing it for fifty-four people so it’s going to take a while. We’ll cut stuff out for you.” 

They worked on putting the dough together with LeAnn explaining what they were doing. They set the dough aside and started making a huge bowl of salsa and then, when the dough was ready they made the tortillas, they sprinkled them with lime juice and then deep fried them. They sprinkled the first lot with salt. “And that’s how you make chips,” said Jamie. Then he added, “May I please have one now, LeAnn?” 

“Yes you may,” responded LeAnn. 

Mike said, “Awesome, we’re going to edit it down, but that was great.” The three of them kept cooking the chips, making tons of them. They let them dry and cool and then put them in to Ziploc bags. While they were working Mike called out the door, “Katie, you’re going to be next!” 

Michelle came in to change into a swimsuit so that she could get into the pool with Suri who wasn’t ready to get out. Katie came in to change and get her makeup done. James came in and when they started to roll Katie said, “I’m Katie Holmes and I’m making a party mix that doesn’t have Chex in it.” 

James said, “I’m James Marsters and I can’t cook so I’ll be measuring things for Katie.” 

The day progressed like that. People were in and out of the kitchen making spice rubs and sauces. It was nice. Tom made the marinade for the lemon chicken with Mike and introduced himself by saying, “I’m Tom Welling and you’re not.”

The next day people started making all the salads. Annie made a potato salad assisted by Jason, Mack and Linda made German potato salad and kept saying how awesome it was that they could use eggs. Chris made coleslaw with Vanderbeek, Michelle made a pasta salad with Jessica helping her and Michael made a different pasta salad with Steve. Jared didn’t make anything which Jensen found hilarious. 

The day before the party was all deserts and drinks. His mom came over with Jared’s mom and Tricia’s mom to make a Jamie safe ambrosia salad. The three women got on like a house on fire. Katharine made rosewater cupcakes saying, “Jamie brought these in on a bake sale day. Jamie can’t get stuff at the bake sales so Jensen always sends him in with something nice, he sends a lot in case some kids forget their money. My son, Tim, is Jamie’s best friend, he tried these and came home saying, ‘You have to call Mr. Ackles right now,’ so I did.” 

Paris and Elisha and made a few different to-die-for cobblers which were Jamie safe. The funny part of that was Paris saying, “Whoa, Leesh, you’re about to start cooking with rings on!”

And Elisha said, “God that would be awful! Diamonds might be a girl’s best friend but they’re not a chef’s.”

“That was the first thing you taught me when I started at the CIA. You said, ‘Paris, that’s a beautiful rock. Now take it off your finger before touching the ground beef.’ I have never forgotten it.” 

Elisha laughed, “It’s unsanitary.”

LeAnn’s mom and Steve’s mom made nondairy whipped cream and ice cream. Jensen and Jamie made cookies and all the bread. Sandy came over with Katie Cassidy and they made a ton of drinks, both alcoholic and non alcoholic. Jason and his dad made an astonishing array of cocktails. Jared’s siblings Meggie and Jeff came over and made amazing alcoholic smoothies. Jensen made Voûte de Lumière Tombée off camera. Everyone went to bed earlier than usual the night before the party. 

Jensen jumped Jared that night. Pushing him towards the bed Jensen said, “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” 

Jared laughed, kissing his neck, “How’s that?”

“You made this seem like a good idea.”

“Was it?”

“It’s fantastic. Best idea ever. I love having all my friends here. I love cooking with them and drinking with them. I love having all the kids here, I love falling into the same old patterns. Thank you,” Jensen leaned up to kiss him. “You made my life better.” 

“You’re really awesome,” Jared said undoing Jensen’s buttons. “I’m really glad that this is our life.”

“I want to ride you,” Jensen said, unzipping Jared’s jeans. “Can we do that?”

“Sounds great,” said Jared, stripping Jensen quickly. He squeezed Jensen’s ass. “Gorgeous.”

Jensen pushed him on the bed and started to suck him making him hard. Jared was rambling about something, Jensen wasn’t paying much attention. He was stretching himself, wanting Jared fast. But Jared was saying something about wanting to do that. So Jensen turned on the bed, giving Jared access while still sucking him. Jared bit his ass gently and it made Jensen jump. He pulled back and said, “Are you sure you want to do that while I have your dick in my mouth?” 

“You have to stop or I’ll come too soon.” 

Jensen moved up the bed and kissed Jared’s mouth gently and Jared still stretched him, “You really are amazing.”

“Say things like that and I get even vainer.”

“I’m largely fine with that.” He reached for a condom, slid it onto Jared and lubed him up. He settled onto Jared and paused, playing with Jared’s nipples as Jared caressed his flanks. “Your vanity is earned. You are so good at this.” Jared started to lift him by the hips pulling him up and down. It was hard, fast and so good. Jensen leaned down to kiss him, grinding down into Jared. “You are amazing; I love giving it up for you.” 

“Want to give it up?” Jensen nodded, dropping his head to Jared’s chest. Jared held his hips and rolled them over, fucking Jensen harder. Jensen pulled him down to kiss him deeply. Jared pulled back, panting. “Good?” 

“Perfect.” He pulled Jared’s head back down to kiss him again. There was no talking now, just panted breathe and kissing. Jensen came between their bodies. He kept moving with Jared, loving the motion. Jared came and then pulled Jensen to him as he rolled over. 

He slowly pulled out slow and threw away the condom. He pulled Jensen to him and said, “God, I love being naked with you. We’re good at this.”

“Great at this,” responded Jensen, running his fingers through Jared’s hair. He was starting to drift off even though he was sticky with come. But then he heard the noise. 

“What the fuck is that?” asked Jared.

Jensen sat up slowly, “That is the noise of two fourteen year-olds and a six year-old on a trampoline at one in the morning.” He wiped himself off with tissues and pulled on flannel pants and a tee-shirt. “Be right back.” 

He headed down the stairs and spoke as he went down, “Gentlemen, I think the three of you need to go to bed. It is one in the morning and we have a very big day tomorrow. August and Sullivan, you should know better.” But as he rounded the corner he saw four guilty faces not three. “Jessica! You are an adult.”

Jessica smiled, “I just joined them. Honor is over excited, she keeps waking up. I can’t go back to sleep as easily as her. I heard the trampoline going and had to join the fun.”

Jensen smiled but said, “Everyone back to bed, march.” The three boys passed him.

But Jessica paused, before she passed him she whispered, “You reek of sex.”

With an eye roll he said, “It’s one in the morning. What should I smell of?” She laughed. He turned off the lights behind them, “Back to bed, young lady.”

~~~

It was early the next morning and all the adults were awake except Jessica. Jared kissed Jensen as he took his coffee and Jensen smiled at him. Jared loved being on the receiving end of that look. Someone asked where she was and Jensen said, “She snuck out with the boys last night to play on the trampoline. She won’t be up for a while.” Having all of his friends around had given Jensen’s voice a stronger southern twang that Jared found really sexy. 

Everyone started to pour in and soon the house was totally full of people, cars dropped them off and were at some point going to be called to bring them home. Jensen had wanted to make sure no one was drunk driving even though some people had designated themselves as sober adults. Jared had laughed at him a lot and made fun of his breathalyzer. 

They started partying before needing to start cooking. They were outside chatting the dogs were all running around and it was so nice. It was also really relaxing that he hadn’t cooked anything at all. They had burgers and hot dogs for lunch with a green salad, all the chips LeAnn had made with the salsa, Katie’s party mix and ice pops. Jared liked having a pressure free meal before the big barbeque.

The day before they’d set up four grills, brought over by family and four large patio tables so everyone could sit. The film crew had set up and had started shooting after lunch. All the kids were playing: hide and seek, up in Jamie’s tree house, in the pool and on the trampoline. 

Chad arrived and said, “No one panic: I’m here.” He kissed Sophia’s cheek and said, “Jim says, ‘Hi,’ Jensen.”

Jensen smiled, “I’m really glad he cleared this.”

He was filling the piñata and LeAnn smiled, “Does this remind anyone of anything?”

Everyone laughed except Jared’s friends and family. Jared said, “Let us in on the joke.”

Chris said, “When we were little our families used to have block parties. For adults it was sitting around eating, chatting and drinking fun summery cocktails. For the kids there was always a piñata and Texan Manhunt. It kept us from bothering the adults too much.”

Michael said, “What’s really funny is that when we met Jensen, the Dawson’s Creek kids and the Dark Angel kids and Tom and the Palickis, we were all late teens or early twenties. But when we would come down to visit, when we got sick of home or got a break in shooting, the parents would still make sure that there was a piñata and bandanas. Sometime during the summer all of us would end up down here. I remember once Jess and I were on a break from shooting and we called Momma Ackles and asked if we could come down. She said that Jensen and Tricia were on tour but that all the other ‘kids’ were around and she would love to see us. Turned out the Dawson’s Creek kids were already staying down here with people.”

“I can’t believe we’re the adults now,” said Katie. 

“Yeah, but I got tons of bandanas. And the old five arbitrators are doing the ref-ing. All the street moms: Momma, Momma Kane, Momma Rimes, Momma Manns and Momma Carlson. All the other parents opted out. Which means we get to Manhunt play. So that’s four teams with ten people each. Get pumped!”

“Can we play with the piñata?” asked Jared. 

“No, we can’t. That has to be theirs.” He smiled, “There are goody bags, you can have one of those.”

James laughed, “Y’know what’s funny? People are tuning in to this because the promo made it look like a celebrity barbeque and now they’re watching and realizing that this is a very normal block party. This is exactly like all the parties you used to have.” 

“You’re right,” said Jensen, “but it’s a great party. Let’s play some music.” 

People began to play music. Jamie stopped playing with his friends and sat down at the bench. They started with Middle America Saturday Night. It was fun they used Kane’s stuff, Ghost of the Robot’s stuff, and then everyone’s individual stuff. The kids were still running around, people were swimming and singing along. It was fun. Jared could never get over just how damn good Jamie was. Everyone was into it. And it amazed Jared to be at a party listening to famous songs being played by famous people in Jensen’s back yard. It was like the most laidback concert ever. 

As it began to get towards dusk Jensen said, “Let’s take a break and start cooking.” People started getting meat out that they’d treated the night before. Jensen set up the piñata for the kids and said, “No blindfolds, they cause injuries.” They started with the younger kids, letting them have a few whacks per turn. Honor needed to be held up by Jessica to reach it. To August and Sullivan he said, “You guys are the pinch hitters, if the little kids can’t do it you’re up. It can be hard so hold back until they start to get bored. Okay?” They both nodded. 

Chris’s mom had a film crew with her as she and Chris made her apparently amazing fried chicken. Outside Jared asked, “Is it really amazing?”

LeAnn smiled. “Oh my God, all the parents had functions in our neighborhood. Momma Kane makes the best friend chicken. My momma was the tooth puller.”

“She was fantastic at it,” said Jensen, “she pulled everyone’s loose teeth perfectly. It never hurt.”

It took the kids over half an hour to break the piñata. It gave the adults time to get all the food ready. Jensen knocked together a huge green salad pretty quickly saying, “Even at a barbeque there should be something green.” The adults started trying the drinks as they cooked all the corn, steaks, ribs and different types of chicken. The smell of all the barbequing made Jared’s mouth water. The big boys had to break the piñata in the end. 

Then kids came to their parents their prizes. They was making themselves glow necklaces, filling their water guns from the pool and having their parents apply tattoos. Jamie was making slinkies walk down the steps into the pool and diving in to retrieve them. Bouncy balls were going everywhere and August and Sullivan were giving each other tattoo sleeves. They set up all the food as a buffet and got the kids plates full of food before sitting down themselves. 

Jensen’s dad said, “Would anyone be offended if I said grace? I’ll keep it nondenominational and short.”

Everyone laughed and there was a chorus of, “Go for it Pappa Ackles!” and other people called, “It’s hard to find you offensive!”

Everyone bowed their heads and Alan said, “Dear God, thank You for the wonderful company. It’s been a really long time since we’ve had so many people we love all in one place. Thank You for bringing Jared and his great family and friends into our lives, we are blessed to know them. Thank You for giving us a whole new generation of children with whom to share our traditions. And thank You for this wonderful food cooked by our families.”

Everyone said, “Amen,” at once. Steve laughed and said, “I never hear a grace except when I’m with you, Poppa Ackles.”

Then Chris added, “It really does make me feel like this is a block party.”

Alan smiled, “Whether or not there is anyone up there listening I like to list off everything nice about the day.” 

People dug in and were chatting and laughing. Jared was just watching it. What James had said about people tuning in for celebrities was true. But everyone is was sitting around in casual clothes and bathing suits. It was comforting and homey. No one had camera make up on now and it was all their families together. There were cameras around but the crew was doing the best they could to be unobtrusive. Jensen said softy, “You okay?”

“I wish I grew up in your neighborhood, ours wasn’t this friendly. We never would have had parties like this. I’m loving it.” 

Jensen leaned over and kissed him chastely, “I love you.”

Jared smiled, “You too.”

“So I know that you kind of lost having the Coolest Bring a Parent to School Day as Jamie was hospitalized but do you think we’ve won Coolest Family Barbeque?”

“Add in Manhunt and we will have it in the bag.” They both laughed.

Everyone had seconds and talked about how awesome the food was as well as filling each other in on their lives. Once everyone was so stuffed and saying they couldn’t even imagine eating dessert Michael and both the Jameses started chanting, “Texan Manhunt, Texan Manhunt.” Then people joined in. Jensen stood to get the supplies and everyone cheered. 

Elisha raised a hand, “Am I the only one who has no idea what we are doing? I kind of draw the entertainment line at lynching.” Chad, Jeff Morgan, Katie Cassidy, and Paris all agreed with her as everyone else laughed. 

Tom said, “Okay, if tag, hide and go seek, and capture the flag had a baby that you played in the dark it would be Texan Manhunt.”

Katherine laughed and said, “Tom, we only met a short while ago but I feel we like each other enough for me to say that that is the most inept explanation possible.” Everyone laughed, including Tom. 

Meggie said, “I’ve got this. All our parents said that they aren’t playing so we have forty people. Which translates into four teams. Each team has a home base. Each person gets two bandanas in their teams colors and a flashlight. You may not hide your flashlight. One person on each team is designated captain. They have three bandanas and two flashlights. They can see better than anyone else but they are also more visible. When someone tags you from a different team you have to give them one of your bandanas. When you tag someone and get their bandana you take it to your home base and leave it there. If you are tagged too many times and you lose all your bandanas you return to your home base. People who still have bandanas can go into other people’s home bases and steal back their own team’s bandanas, they can’t take other colors. They can give those bandanas to anyone who is out or is close to being out. To avoid being tagged you can run and you can hide. But you can’t hide in the kitchen or anything it has to be in the yard, behind trees or whatever. You can also climb trees. Now, the team that collects twelve bandanas wins. However eight of those bandanas must be of the same color and you must have one each of the two other teams. If it goes on for long enough and people get bored then whichever team has the most bandanas both their own color and everyone else’s wins. That’s the Texan Manhunt. But Jensen said something about arbitrators which we never had.”

Michelle said, “We have five arbitrators, not in the game. They decide whether or not something is fair. Any player can call foul if they think they’ve been cheated out of a bandana. So if someone doesn’t actually touch you but takes a bandana, that’s a foul. If two people gang up on you, that’s a foul. If someone fakes a broken leg to get you to come near them so that they can tag you, that’s a foul. If the arbitrators agree that it’s a foul the offender must give all their bandanas to the cheated person and go to their home base to be tagged in.”

Paris said, “Y’know what’s funny? While Tom’s explanation was incredibly vague it was also totally accurate.” Everyone laughed again. 

Jensen came out and said, “We have a new rule too: you cannot tackle or pick up an opposing team member.” Some people groaned and Jensen laughed, “I know when we were younger half the point was to be the first person to pick up Mackenzie.”

“Yeah, that wasn’t funny,” said Mack.

“You were the youngest you were bound to get picked on,” Jensen shrugged. “But, now that the age gap is so large between players, that’s just mean. It’s funny when Mack was fourteen it’s not funny when Honor is two and a half.” He went to close the pool cover and said, “I’m shutting this so that no one slips in but don’t run across it. It will hold you up but it will break the mechanism. Home bases are the bottom of the tree house tree for red, the two soccer nets for blue and green and the far end of the pool for yellow.” To Elisha, Chad, Jeff, Katie and Paris he said, “You five in?” They all nodded. “Awesome, pick teams.” That went fast and he was handing out bandanas and flashlights. 

They all went to their home bases and it was LeAnn’s Mom who did a two fingered whistle and said, “Let the Manhunt begin.”

It wasn’t very serious, no one got competitive with such little kids involved they just played. Mike and Michael got the most fouls called on them. Every once in a while you would hear a mother say something along the lines of, “Michael Weatherly, you put Annie down this minute and give her you bandanas, y’hear?” Everyone was laughing. The camera guys kept giving away people’s positions with their lights but one actually cared. 

After about an hour the little kid were flagging and it was Chris’ mother who called, “The Manhunt is over because all the real adults are ready for dessert.” People laughed and went up to the tables to have their team’s bandanas counted. Chad was really excited that his team, the green team, won and asked what the prize was. 

“Bragging rights,” said Jensen. Chad looked a little hurt and Jensen said, “You can have a goody bag if you like. I made up one for every one as a joke because Oriental Trading Company makes you order, like, fifty of everything.”

Chad nodded, “I feel that is an appropriate prize. But I’m going to make the green team t-shirts. Watch the mail, people, wear them proudly.”

Jensen smiled, “Let me go get the goody bags. I think the kids are going to pass out right after dessert, everyone one looks dead on their feet.” He went into the house and came back with a laundry basket full of cellophane bags. He handed one to Jessica and said, “That’s Honor’s it has extra stuffed animals because I wasn’t sure about the other stuff. Vet it.” 

Jessica opened it and said, “Cool bottle of bubble water which is too large to be choked on, friendship bracelets are fine because they get tied on, cute stuffed animals, the very nice sheriff badge doesn’t have a pointy pin so that’s awesome.” She got to the sticky lizards and said, “Those will definitely get swallowed,” she handed them back to him and to Honor she said, “What do you say to Jensen?”

“Thank you, Jensen.” She hugged a stuffed dog. 

“You are very welcome.” To the two teenagers Jensen said, “I know you’re a bit old. But at the same time a goody bag is always nice. These two have extra sticky lizards.” He handed them one each.

“Thanks, Jen,” they said in unison.

“Again, totally welcome. I just hope they aren’t too lame. Personally I think the sheriff badges are really funny.” To everyone else he said, “The rest are all the same, so pick ones with stuffed toys you like.” 

The kids dug in and everyone else helped themselves to desserts. Sandy said, “I think it’s time for the camera crew to leave so say your goodbyes.” 

Jared turned to the closest one and said, “Thank you for watching our Family Barbeque.”

“Usually,” said Jamie, “on the Family Barbeque show the chef does all fancy versions of barbeque food and then they sit around with a few friends eating, like, grilled asparagus.” 

“Well, welcome to Texas,” said Chris which made Jamie laugh. “We play Manhunt, say grace, and play music. Might not be classy but it’s home.” 

Jensen smiled at the camera and said, “Hope you had fun; we’re having fun.” Then he did a spot on impression of Jared, “We’ll see you next season -- right here -- on the Food Network’s Family Barbeque. Have a great summer!”

“Why do you always make fun of me?” asked Jared.

“You open yourself up for it.”

Jared laughed, to the camera he said, “Good night!” Everyone else repeated it laughing and cheering. It was just after nine when the camera guys left. They kept eating dessert. 

Afterwards the music started up again and Jensen opened the pool back up for people to use. The concert continued and Jensen was playing the violin. Jared watched him, totally in his element. It was like watching the YouTube videos; this was Jensen at the top of his game. Honor was asleep in Jessica’s lap. The other kids had all gotten a second wind and were back to playing together, playing tag in the dark with their flashlights. Jessica turned on the baby monitor that was already on the patio, “Be right back,” she whispered. 

A few moments passed and then the other baby monitor was turned on. And they heard Jessica say, “Okay, sweetheart, sleep well.” 

Shortly thereafter Mattie came and cuddled up in Michelle’s lap to fall asleep all the while claiming she wasn’t tired. Then Mary and Suri did the same thing. They were put to bed and Mary was put in the lower bunk in Jamie’s room. Jamie went to swim with his friends and Jensen went back to the piano and the party just kept going. People were drinking and still eating everything and singing along with the music. 

Jensen got up and got out the four sleeping bags and said, spoke to the parents who weren’t staying there, “All the kids can crash here. The couch pulls out. Once they’re asleep they’re impossible to move.” The kids had all been wearing sweats and tee-shirts to play in so it wasn’t as though they needed PJs. It was decided that August and Sullivan would sleep on the pull out. Tim, Mary, Marky and Jamie were going to be in his room. Eric and Kurt were adamant that they could stay up as late as the adults. The music tapered off and people just sat around chatting. Around half past midnight Tim, Jamie and Marky all headed off to bed or their own accord. Jensen called after them, “Try not to wake Mary, boys.” 

They started drinking coffee and it wasn’t too long before all the real adults left in cars Jensen had called for them. Jeff and Kayla left with Eric and Kurt at the same time because the boys were dead on their feet. 

Everyone else was in the pool, enjoying themselves. Paris was on a raft and said, “I think I should quit my gym.” 

“Why?” asked Meg. 

“I got a way better work out from Texan Manhunt.” 

People chuckled and Jared felt really pleasantly drunk and Jared asked, “Do we have any booze left?”

“There’s some of the acid green one and some of the pink one,” Jensen slowly climbed out of the pool, “Drinks, anyone?” He served everyone drinks. Everyone was drinking in the pool. Some people were ashing into Solo cups. Jensen was sitting on the edge and said, “Dad was right, it’s really nice to have all the kids around.” He was silent for a moment looking at the water. “Sometimes you don’t miss something until it is back.” He looked up and said, “From now on we’re open for business. During the summer, all of you can come over whenever you like. During the school year we’ll have to figure something out ‘cause Jamie needs quiet school nights. But, yeah, this was always the party house and Tom and Mike picked up the slack but I’m ready. We’re an open house again. And these barbeques are a monthly thing now except for December, January and February, those are too cold. I’ll send out mass emails. Come if you can.” 

Mack smiled but then said, “Everyone is staying is staying for another few days, don’t get maudlin on us.”

“I have to be on a plane in five hours, I have to be at the airport in three and a half.” said Chad. “That’s going to suck.”

“Should you go to bed?” asked Jensen

“No, I’ll sleep on the plane, it’s three hours and then I’ll have two hours to sleep before we start shoot. What I should do is stop drinking and start eating.” He got out of the pool and started eating ribs and potatoes. Chris handed Jensen a cigarette.

As Jensen lit it Steve said, “August, Sullivan, you didn’t see this. Jensen does not smoke.” 

“Especially if my mom or Jamie asks.” The boys both laughed. 

At around three people got ready to leave. Jensen was calling cars for everyone. He was up on the patio as people were getting out of swim suits. Jared was eating more cobbler. Annie sat next to Jensen and said softly, “Would you mind if I went home with Jason?”

Jensen smiled, “Seriously? I never thought this would actually happen. Why would I mind?” 

“Well, I mean, for a long time it’s been you and me and now it’s you and Jared and I just wanted to check if it was okay.” 

Horror washed over Jensen’s face, “You’ve been holding back on my account? God, Annie, go.”

Annie shook her head, “No, I mean, I was holding back on my account too. But I want to go home with him and I just wanted to make sure it’s okay.”

Jensen smiled, “It’s awesome. I’m thrilled.” Jensen called everyone cars and drunkenly hugged them goodbye. 

The people who were left slowly set about putting the leftovers away. They were all stumbling drunk but they managed to put the food away and Jensen shut the pool for the night. Everything else was left to be dealt with in the morning. The extent of Jensen’s drunkenness became obvious when he couldn’t take off his tee-shirt without assistance. “Arms up,” said Jared and then tugged Jensen’s shirt over his head. 

“I’m so drunk I might vomit if I stand up much longer.” 

Jared chuckled, “Lie down on the bed. I’ll do it for you.” Jensen flopped down and Jared pulled off his flip-flops, jeans and boxers. “Better?” 

“Yeah, come lie next to me,” Jensen patted the bed next to him. Jared stripped and rested next to Jensen. Jensen pulled one of Jared’s arms around him. Jared switched off the lamp and Jensen nestled into him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“For everything.”

“You’re welcome for everything.” Jared kissed his forehead. 

“And for stalking me.” 

Jared laughed and said, “Shut up and go to sleep.” 

Jensen leaned up and kissed him, “Love you too.”


End file.
